A Genderbended reality
by 1tE5o6
Summary: So, what if in a parallel dimension- the Akatsuki were your average school girls? And what if our Deidara's science experiment goes horribly wrong... And puts them in the Narutoverse- where they meet their male equivilants!
1. Introductions and all that boring shit

**CHAPTER . 1 _Introductions and all that boring shit._**

My name's Konan.  
>I'm just an average 17 year old student at Sakura-girls academy.<br>I live with my male friend Nagato in a small house.  
>I'm not rich. I'm ANYTHING but rich.<br>I just have absolutely NO idea how I ended up in a snobby private all-girls school anyway.  
>Whatever- You're probably bored to death already by my stupid introductions.<p>

It was the first day of term and I already couldn't wait to go home.  
>Surprisingly, I made it to school half an hour early, AND I was the second of my friends to arrive.<br>The first being Sasori.  
>She's ALWAYS here super early.<br>She wore her shoulder length bright red hair down and she was actually wearing the summer uniform for year nine. This was red.  
>I smirked when I'd realised she hadn't grown an inch since I saw her last.<br>"Wow, you're actually early for once- should I call the school nurse?" Sasori asked me smugly.  
>"No, but you can give me a hug, shorty." I smirked back, suffocating her with my bear hug O'DOOM!<br>"Oh my Jashin! Sasori's being sexually harassed by someone OTHER than her boyfriend! Time for blackmail!" I heard the obnoxious call of Hidan from behind me.  
>I turned to her sheepishly, holding my arms out for a hug.<br>"Ugh, alright. ONE hug- but you better not touch my hair though. I spent three hours on it."  
>Hidan groaned, allowing me to hug her half to death.<p>

Hidan was in year 10, meaning she wore the brown summer uniform. She had her fringe tied back in a ponytail and the rest of her silver hair was left out, reaching her waist.

Following her was none other than Kakuzu. The dependant, smartest and the tallest girl of the group. She's the oldest of us all, being in year 12. Meaning her uniform was green.

Trudging in tiredly next to her was Deidara.  
>She's pretty much our bitch because she's the youngest.<br>I actually think she has a crush on Sasori. Mainly because she gets all giggly and shy.

"Look! It's my Smartie and my Blondie! Group hug?" I suggested, holding my arms out again.  
>Kakuzu ignored me with a smug look, and Deidara cowered behind Sasori.<br>I rolled my eyes.  
>"Fine! It's not like I have FEELINGS or anything! All I wanted was a hug!" I faked sounding hurt.<br>Then I let a scream pass my lips as 50 kg's of cuddly Uchiha clung to me.  
>"KONAN-CHAAANN~ I MISSED YOU!" A voice sung, as the person latched on to me for dear life.<br>Meet Itachi.  
>She's in Hidan's year and she's one of the loudest, dumbest, funniest people you could ever meet.<br>She totally fangirls over Deidara, and she's EXTREMELY affectionate.

"DEIDARA-CHAAANNN!" She cried, launching herself at the blonde STILL cowering behind Sasori.

The only person left here is Kisame.  
>Itachi's cousin who was now holding Itachi back while Deidara looked for a more effective hiding spot.<br>Kisame is an extremely shy, and super sweet girl. She's always looking out for Itachi.  
>Also, she turns 17 this year- so she's in 11th grade. Like me.<p>

"Who has sport first?" I asked, patting my skirt down.  
>"I have a free, so I'll just hang in your class." Kakuzu shrugged.<br>"Itachi and I do too, and is Kisame in your PE class?" Hidan asked me.  
>I shrugged and looked at Kisame questioningly.<br>Kisame blushed and nodded.

So the bell went sooner than I would have liked, and Itachi, Hidan, Kisame, Kakuzu and I were in the change rooms.  
>"Hey, Hidan- that's a nasty bruise." I commented, looking at the massive bruise on her leg.<br>Hidan burst into laughter for some odd reason.  
>"Yeah I got it at the dojo yesterday."<br>I glanced at Kakuzu.  
>"HEY! Watch where you walk!" Itachi shouted at the girl who shoved Kisame out of the way.<br>She turned around, and I recognised her as Neji Hyuuga. That snobby know it all.  
>"Maybe your friend should think about where she stands before she invades my personal space." Neji bit back.<br>"Come here, I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your goddamn face!" Itachi yelled perilously.  
>Neji opened her water bottle and splashed its contents at us.<br>"Bye, losers." She called, walking out.  
>"Bye, bitch." I muttered, turning back to Hidan who was in horror- patting her hair down furiously.<br>"NO! MY HAIR!" She sobbed.  
>"Drama queen." Kakuzu muttered as both her, Kisame AND me walked into the gym.<br>"That bruise. It's not from training, is it." I said flatly.  
>Kakuzu sighed.<br>"Yeah, the abuse is pretty bad at the moment. I offered to have her stay at the Dojo- but she keeps refusing. I'm starting to get a little worried." She admitted as we sat down.  
>"Listen up maggots! Our class today will be doing kendo revision! We'll test out how much you remember on the year 10 class." Anko-sensei called.<br>I groaned with the rest of the class.  
>Great.<br>"Well, Konan- You're name is first on the roll. I'm picking that brown haired chick who's glaring at you." Anko decided, pointing at Neji.

We both walked into the middle of the gym with our foam kendo sticks, as everyone cheered obnoxiously.  
>"Hey sweetie, can't wait to win." Neji cooed.<br>I balled my fists and moved before she could tap me with her Kendo stick.  
>"Well, you know where you stand a lot better than that stupid, kid with the ugly skin tone." Neji smirked, gesturing to Kisame.<p>

I lost.  
>Apparently actually INJURING the opponent is against the rules.<br>I wish someone told me that BEFORE I punched this hoe in the face.  
>Pfft. Bitch please. <p>

* * *

><p><strong>So How was it? Did you like it? Should I keep going?<strong>  
><strong>Please R&amp;R!<strong>


	2. An Unfamiliar world

**CHAPTER 2! An unfamiliar world.  
><strong>  
>"I can't believe she gave you detention! What a bitch!" Itachi exclaimed, tossing her waist length black hair over her shoulder.<br>"Konan punched another student in the face. What did you THINK was going to happen?" Hidan snapped back.  
>Just as Itachi opened her own mouth to retort, Kakuzu interrupted the two female's quarrelling.<br>"Shut it! BOTH of you."  
>Hidan and Itachi glared in silence for a few minutes.<br>"I'm not going to detention. Screw that." I laughed. Everyone gave me their best 'ORLY?' faces, before cracking up laughing.  
>"Yeah! That's our Konan, always the rule breaker." Hidan grinned at me.<br>I chucked her a wink.  
>"I try."<br>"Hey guys, Deidara told me to come get you. She's in the science labs again." Called the familiar voice of Sasori as she walked up to us.  
>"Not one of her dumb experiments again." Itachi groaned.<br>"Shut up Itachi. It's not like you can do any better." Hidan retorted.  
>"What is with you? I can't say a single thing-"<br>"Did I or did I NOT tell you two to shut it?"  
>-Insert scowling here-<p>

"BEHOLD! THE ULTIMATE SCIENCE!" We heard the voice of a familiar blonde bellow from inside the science labs.  
>"Who gave the dumbass crack?" Hidan muttered, pushing open the door.<br>"HOLY SHIT! IT'S GONNA BLOW UP- GET OUTTA HERE DEIDARA!" She shouted as soon as she entered the room.  
>"Wha-?" I was cut off by the sound of an explosion.<br>"MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT IS THAT?" Itachi exclaimed, peering through the door.  
>WE all ran into the room curiously, and the sight in front of us held us up in shock.<br>"It's my experiment! The ultimate science. A wormhole into a parallel dimension!" Deidara exclaimed proudly.  
>Itachi took a weary step forward, but Hidan grabbed her wrist tight.<br>"What do you think you're doing? We're not going in there, we don't even know if it's safe!" The silver haired girl shouted, attempting to pull the Uchiha back.  
>"Well, let's see if it IS safe!" Itachi shouted, spinning around and shoving Hidan into the bright purple light, I was still looking in awe at.<br>"Hidan!" Kakuzu called in shock, collapsing on the floor. Her lip trembled slightly, but she stood back up- with a determined look.  
>"I'm going after her." The brunette spoke softly, before charging into the brightness.<br>Deidara ran in next, dive bombing in with a scream of accomplishment.  
>Itachi strutted in like she was hot stuff, and Kisame followed her quietly.<br>Sasori gave me a hug and a small smirk, before jumping into the wormhole.  
>It was only me left.<br>I bit my lip, took a deep breath… and stepped towards the light.

"Itachi, I'LL KILL YOU!"  
>Was the first thing I heard when I opened my eyes.<br>"Hey! Kill Deidara for MAKING the damn wormhole!"  
>"Or I could kill all three of you for being so damn annoying." I mumbled with a smirk, sitting up.<br>We were in what looked to be a forest, and I turned around to find Kisame smiling shyly.  
>So that's why I was so comfortable. I was sleeping on her lap!<br>Gotta love that girl.  
>"Konan!" Hidan called, with a smile.<br>"Konan, gosh it took you long enough!" Itachi exclaimed with a straight face.  
>I chuckled, getting to my feet.<br>"Where are we?" I asked, observing the forest around me.  
>"Sasori and Kakuzu just went to look around." Hidan said, yawning.<br>"I told you we're in another DIMENSION!" Deidara cackled, as if belonging in an asylum.  
>Everyone just ignored her.<br>"I think I broke my toe." Itachi complained, taking off her shoes.  
>At that moment Kakuzu and Sasori ran back to us.<br>"There's a cave not far from here." Kakuzu huffed, pulling Hidan to her feet.  
>She then turned to Itachi with a cold glare.<br>"You were lucky this time. Next time you so much as lay a finger on Hidan- I kill you." She said darkly.  
>"I guess Kakuzu's in charge, seeing as she's the oldest." I said, as Itachi climbed onto Kisame's back. What a wimp, right?<br>We walked through vines and shrubs, trying to ignore Itachi's complaints and Deidara's maniacal laughter.  
>Kakuzu kept Hidan close to her, eyeing off Itachi dangerously.<br>I sighed, falling behind the crowd so that Sasori could catch up. Someone had stuck her with all of our school bags, and she was struggling with the weight.  
>"Want some help?" I asked, taking four or five bags off her.<br>"Thanks Konan. You're a life saver." Sasori breathed, catching herself as she nearly tripped over a high resting root.  
>"It's why I'm here, you know?" I smiled back.<br>Then I paused, realizing… Our friends were completely out of sight.  
>Sasori turned to me questioningly.<br>"What's up Konan? Why'd you stop?" She asked me.  
>My lip trembled. How had we lost them so quickly? It had only been 20 seconds ago I was walking at the front of the group. I couldn't have been luckier to be with Sasori in this situation. I mean, she knew were the cave was- so we'd catch up to the group in no time…<br>Right?  
>Sasori was now wide eyed, and looking around, confused.<br>Before I had time to ask, she mumbled something.  
>"I don't recognise this place, at all."<br>"That would be because you two are in my genjutsu." Called a man, no, not a man… A bear, making its way towards us as the forest we were just walking in became distorted.  
>"Sasori… Did you drug me while I was sleeping?" I asked meekly.<br>The red-head shook her head.  
>"Come on, let's run for it." She whispered, dropping the bags she was carrying.<br>We both legged it, running as fast as we could.  
>But it was no use, no matter how fast we ran- we weren't getting anywhere.<br>Sasori soon collapsed in exhaustion, and I was pretty close to fatigue as well.  
>"It's no use trying to run. You're both going to die." The bear molded into a large spider.<br>Bloodthirsty and horrible on the eyes.  
>I felt my throat go dry as my legs became heavy, and I collapsed to my knees, turning to Sasori.<br>She was just as bad as me, shivering, frightened and paralyzed.  
>It creeped forward, all eight hairy legs moving.<br>I think I threw up a little.  
>"STOP! OH GOD, SOMEONE HELP!" I screeched, trying to haul myself out of the way somehow.<br>It was no use. I'm going to die. I blame Deidara. DEAIDARA, DEIDARA, DEIDARA! IT'S HER FAULT!  
>The spider closed in on me, baring it's pincers.<br>"LIKE I'D LET YOU!" called a familiar voice that I failed to recognise completely.  
>There were two slashing sounds and an unnatural amount of light.<br>Blood splattered my clothing completely, and I gasped, my eyes adjusting to the new brightness.  
>On the ground was a man, sliced into three pieces, obviously dead on the forest floor.<br>I looked up slightly to see Kakuzu fixing up her black jacket casually, a blood covered katana in her hand.  
>That was about the time I threw up.<p>

It took Sasori a good minute to stop her shaking.  
>"I thought… I seriously thought I was going to die." She whispered, staring at her hands pathetically.<br>Kakuzu crouched down to her level, and rubbed her back.  
>"It's alright. I would never let that happen." She didn't smile, because Kakuzu doesn't do smiling. She did however try to look sincere. This failed completely, and she ended up with looking like she was going to punch Sasori in the face.<br>"Anyway, everyone else is waiting for us, so let's head out." Kakuzu sighed, finishing her search for weapons on the man. She'd found a weird pouch, possessing a large number of sharp things that could be used for offence, claiming she had to be armed if she could protect us again.

"God you guys, what happened? I've been waiting here forever!" Itachi demanded, once we caught up the rest of the group.  
>"They were attacked." Kakuzu replied, shoving a bag in Itachi's arms.<br>"Carry your own shit. Sasori's not your slave." She added, walking ahead of the group.  
>"Ohh! Carry your own shit! Sasori's not your slave! Itachi has to do everything! Lalala!" Itachi mocked in a high pitched voice, rolling her eyes.<br>Kakuzu turned around violently, towering over Itachi with cold eyes.  
>"Stop being a prissy little whiner and get over yourself." She snapped, turning back and storming forward.<br>Itachi's face heated up, and she stuck her nose up, walking away like she hadn't just got told.  
>"That's the cave." Sasori pointed. About 100 or so meters away was a cave, closed off with a rock.<br>"Oh, GREAT. It's sealed up. We can't get in!" Hidan sighed, sitting down on the grass.  
>"Boom."<br>We all turned to Deidara questioningly.  
>"Wha-"<br>BOOM!  
>At this time, the explosion was for real. The side of the cave had blown in, and we'd found our enterance.<br>"How'd you do that? You've been too far away from the cave to create something over there." Sasori asked, staring at Deidara with disbelief.  
>"I put a paper that said 'exploding tag' on a tree back there, and waited. It explodes after 30 seconds of being stuck to something. I put it on a bird, and it flew over to the cave and…" Deidara trailed off, realizing we were all staring in horror at her.<br>"That's SICK." Hidan said, shaking her head and walking towards the cave.  
>We all soon followed her, deciding to ignore Deidara again.<br>The blonde shrugged, skipping along with the rest of us.  
>I hate her sometimes.<p>

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><strong>UPDATE! Thanks for the reviews guys!<br>See you next chapter! R&R please?**


	3. Kakuzu vs Kakuzu  chan

"Lucky we found shelter, eh? It looks like it might rain." Sasori smirked, as we entered the cave.  
>I nodded.<br>"Yeah, I mean we can't have 'Mrs. Silver hair' over here get her precious locks ruined." I said dramatically, as Hidan scowled.  
>"Oh, shut up. My hair gets easily damaged!" She snapped.<br>"Unlike MINE, which is just totally gorgeous." Itachi sung, throwing the bags into the cave.  
>"What the fuck? Something just fucking hit me in the face!" They heard a male voice shout from inside.<br>"Kakuzu, go deal with the intruders. Hidan, stop whining." Another, deep voice demanded.  
>We all turned to Kakuzu and Hidan questioningly.<br>"What's going on?" Hidan demanded. "Why does that person know our names?"  
>"Shut up, and get behind me. All of you." Kakuzu hissed, pulling out her katana.<br>"Who are you?" She demanded as we all stepped back in fear that she might accidentally cut our heads off.  
>"None of your concern, little girl." The man spoke. He appeared out of the shadows in a black cloak with red clouds on it. His face was all masked up, and I frowned as I looked at his eyes.<br>They reminded me of someone.  
>"What did you call me?" Kakuzu lowered her voice dangerously.<br>"Hey, Kakuzu. He has your eyes." Hidan pointed. Ah, that was it.  
>The man looked utterly surprised for some reason.<br>"Your name… Is Kakuzu?" He asked.  
>Kakuzu's expression remained deadly.<br>"Why do you care?" She bit back, lifting her katana.  
>"This… THIS IS… I TOLD YOU GUYS WE WERE IN A PARALLEL DIMENSION! BUT NONE OF YOU BELIEVED ME! THAT HAS GOTTA BE YOU'RE MALE EQUIVILENT!" Deidara shouted, bounding up and down.<br>Hidan smacked Deidara upside the head.  
>"YOU IDIOT! There's no way we're in another dimension!"<br>"Hidan. If I were you, I wouldn't rule out that possibility." Kakuzu spoke, not turning to us but facing the man with her full attention. Weird black tendril things started squirming and unstitching his skin.  
>Kakuzu leapt forward in a flash, swinging the Katana harshly at the man.<br>He disappeared.  
>"What the…" Kakuzu blinked.<br>"WATCH OUT!" Hidan screamed, rushing forward.  
>She barely managed to block a sudden kick from the man, as he appeared behind Kakuzu.<br>It was too strong for Hidan to maintain her balance though, and she was thrown into Kakuzu, the two falling onto the ground roughly.  
>With a grunt of pain, Kakuzu got up again.<br>"Stay out of this, Hidan." She snarled, running forward again.  
>The man kept beating her easily. Avoiding her attacks with little effort, and throwing her to the ground over and over again.<br>"DAMN IT." Kakuzu bellowed in frustration, using the tree as a leaning post as she got back up to her feet.  
>"Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" She shouted, lunging again.<br>We were all in shock.  
>None of us had ever seen Kakuzu get so worked up before. Not even Hidan.<br>The man gave her a gold glare, and lifted his arm.  
>"Die." He said, going for the kill this time as his hand extended towards Kakuzu.<br>"STOP! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HER!" Hidan cried, creating a barrier between the two.  
>Kakuzu's eyes widened, and she paused just in time.<br>The man stopped in his tracks, turning towards the large group of people that stood watching in amusement.  
>How had we not even noticed them?<br>"Why did you come out?" He asked, regaining his composure.  
>"We heard a lot of cursing, and something about a parallel world. We had to see what was going on." A beefy blue-skinned man spoke in an amused tone.<br>I was frozen. Face-to-face with a man with a face full of piercings, of which nearly made him unrecognizable… But that face was… It was most definitely…  
>"Yahiko." The word clogging up my throat as I felt close to tears.<br>The man with piercings turned to me, blinking and looking surprised.  
>"Woah! Konan- look it's you!" A hyperactive looking man with an orange swirly mask over his head spoke, turning to a woman, who looked almost exactly the same as me. She was just older, and very serious looking, not to mention she started to walk towards me blankly.<br>"What did you say just now?" She asked me.  
>"Yahiko…" I repeated, backing away from her.<br>She turned back viciously to the orange haired man.  
>"Pein-Sama…" She started to say, and he nodded in response.<br>"Capture them, and bring them into the interrogation room." He shrugged, walking back into the cave.

"This is all Deidara's fault! If she hadn't made that stupid wormhole in the first place, none of this would have happened!" Itachi shouted, trying to squirm out of the ropes that tied her somehow.  
>"Everybody calm down!" Sasori barked, as we all turned to her questioningly.<br>"Does anyone know how to get out of these ropes?" She asked impatiently, obviously uncomfortable herself.  
>"I do." Hidan sighed, before closing her eyes concentrating hard.<br>She gritted her teeth violently, squirming slightly but managing to move her teeth to her shirt pocket.  
>She then pulled a craft knife out of it, so it faced downwards. Then she let it drop from her mouth, directly slicing through the ropes tying her arms and chest together.<br>We watched her as she picked up the knife in her mouth again, leant over to her legs and cut a few ropes on them, leaving only her hands left.  
>She picked the knife up again with her mouth, walking over to Kakuzu, and cutting all of her ropes with it. After that Kakuzu cut mine, Sasori's and Kisame's ropes.<br>"Hey! What about me!" Itachi shouted.  
>"Pfft. Do it yourself, princess." Kakuzu scoffed, throwing the knife at the wall slightly to the right of Itachi's head.<br>"That could have killed me!" Itachi screeched.  
>"Yeah. Shame I missed." Kakuzu muttered, as Sasori and I exchanged amused glances.<br>Of course Deidara was too insane at that time to complain about her ropes, so we all sat ourselves in a circle, trying to work out what the hell was going on.

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><strong>See you next chapter~ REVIEW PLEASE!<strong>


	4. An Escape route

CHAPTER 4- AN ESCAPE ROUTE

We all watched in silence as Kakuzu walked back towards us.  
>"It's all clear. They seem pretty confident we won't get out." She sighed, Throwing her school bag over her shoulder.<br>"And what if they track our scent or something?" I asked, Tying my hair up in a pony-tail.  
>"That's why we 're splitting up, moron!" Itachi spoke as if she was above me.<br>"Watch your mouth." I hissed, and she gave me a bitter smirk.  
>I opened my mouth to yell, but Kakuzu cut me off.<br>"Do you WANT to lose your vocal chords? Both of you?" She barked, as we followed her silently through the underground corridor.  
>Kakuzu paused.<br>"Alright… Deidara, Sasori and Konan. Remember the procedures we went through?" She asked, handing Sasori and I various weaponry. (Deidara couldn't be trusted, considering she's gone all crazy on us.)

* * *

><p>"Okay, so maybe this is some kind of practical joke." Konan suggested, folding her arms, and looking at Pein hopefully.<br>"No." None other than Tobi himself stepped out from the shadows.  
>"They are not Shinobi, Konan. They don't even have chakra. I do, truthfully believe they may be from a parallel world." He spoke, his voice darker and serious.<br>"Leader-sama! They got out!" Kisame ran into the room, looking out of breath.  
>"WHAT?" Pein shouted, enraged.<br>"They got out of the ropes, and ran off!" Kisame repeated, huffing.  
>Pein sighed irately.<br>"Go find them. We can't have them revealing our location. Bring them back, and for the love of ME, keep watch on them this time!" He spoke, as Konan and Kisame nodded, rushing out of the room.

* * *

><p>We'd split up into different groups, and planned to meet up where we woke up.<br>The groups were as follows;

1) Itachi and Kisame  
>2) Deidara, Sasori and myself<br>3) Hidan and Kakuzu

Now, from what I know- Kisame used to do karate- plus Itachi had a mean bitch-slap.  
>But, honestly we didn't care what happened to her.<br>Deidara, Sasori and I? Well, we're all pretty much useless. Hell, I couldn't even swim.  
>So, we got a bunch of handy weapon supplies and Kakuzu's lecture on what to do in an emergency.<br>Hidan and Kakuzu? Well, both of their families are famous for their skill in martial arts. They'll survive. Trust me.

"What planet do you reckon she's on right now?" I muttered to Sasori as we both glanced back to our crazy blonde friend, who was still temporarily crazy.  
>Sasori snickered.<br>"Who knows. Hopefully she won't be back for a while." She muttered back.  
>I KNOW, we were being bitchy, but we're adolescent teenage GIRLS! It's our way of staying sane.<br>Okay, I wasn't THAT adolescent, but Sasori was.  
>I rest my case.<br>"Well, well. We found three of them Danna, hm." A male voice spoke from the tree's above us.  
>Now, Kakuzu had already instructed, that if we came into trouble, me as the oldest has to take responsibility for the others.<br>Sasori cowered behind me, whilst Deidara remained totally out of it.  
>"Deidara! What are you DOING? Get behind me, NOW!" I shouted to the blonde who was giggling like crazy.<br>"Well, you could at least buy me dinner first, un." The man spoke, jumping down with a redheaded boy that looked around 15.  
>"I wasn't talking to you…" I trailed off, my eyes widening.<br>He was the male mirror image of Deidara.  
>Deidara paused for a moment. Then stepped back in dismay.<br>"Wh-where am I?" She cried, moving back and staring up in horror at the man.  
>"She's back." Sasori let out a sigh of relief.<br>"A parallel dimension." She muttered in reply to herself.  
>Wait a second.<br>There was no fucking way…  
>"Who are you? Why are you in my head?" She screamed, falling to her knees.<br>We all stood in silence, exchanging looks as Deidara started giggling manically again.  
>"What's wrong with-"<br>"She's lost it." I answered the blonde man immediately.  
>"Oh, please." Sasori muttered, pushing past me and walking over to Deidara who was now, crying and laughing at the same time.<br>"GET UP." She snapped, as Deidara turned to her, with a terrified expression.  
>"B-but I-"<br>"GET UP, NOW." She barked again, looking scarier than I thought possible.  
>Deidara, raised her hand to wipe away her tears, but Sasori grabbed it in mid-air harshly, and pulled her to her feet.<br>"S-Sasori…" She stammered, her eyes wide.

What happened next was something I never expected from Sasori.

Deidara whimpered, and started sobbing.  
>Sasori clenched her fist, and slammed it violently into the blonde's face.<br>"SNAP OUT OF IT!" She screeched, as Deidara fell to the ground again.  
>"IF YOU DON'T STOP CRYING- I'll… I'LL KILL YOU!" She shouted, pulling out the craft knife Kakuzu gave her, and holding it above her head.<br>Deidara clamped her hands over her mouth to keep from making any more noise.  
>"STOP!" I shrieked, shaking in fear.<br>I was a wimp. I could never face death. Ever.  
>"What the HELL IS GOING ON, HM?" The blonde man shouted over the commotion.<br>"None of your business, brat." Sasori growled lowly, chucking her best threatening side-ways glance at the man.  
>"Danna. Let's just capture them and go already."<p>

* * *

><p>"Could these ropes be ANY tighter?" I whined, trying to wiggle out of the uncomfortable position, but failing and falling over on my side.<br>We were tied up again, but this time, from out feet to our necks.  
>Hidan and Itachi had their mouths duct-taped, and they knocked Deidara out cold.<br>Hopefully she'll wake up as one person.

"What do we do?" Sasori whispered, laying completely still "I'm so scared…"  
>Kakuzu said nothing, glaring holes into the floor.<br>"Kakuzu! Think of something please!" She begged, starting to cry.  
>I rolled around on the floor helplessly.<br>"HELP MEEEEHHH!" I cried, looking like I was having an epileptic fit on the floor.  
>Sasori sniffled and started giggling.<br>"IT'S NOT FUNNY! I'M SERIOUSLY STUCK!" I tried to stay serious, but choked on my laughter.  
>Even Kakuzu snickered.<br>"You look like you're on drugs or something!" Sasori managed between giggles.  
>I tried to kick my legs under the ropes, but couldn't.<br>Kakuzu was laughing her ass off by now.  
>"Sexy dance moves. Right here girlfriend." I spoke, doing 'the worm' but in this case, I looked more like a maggot.<br>"Stop it! Konan, please I'm gonna piss myself!" Sasori begged, still laughing uncontrollably.  
>"I should be a fricking cheerleader!" I breathed between my hysterical laughing fit.<br>"It's okay if I look like a maggot,  
>Let's all go and eat some carrots!<br>Then when we're all done with that,  
>Let's eat take-out and get really fat!"<br>I shouted, attempting to do cheerleader moves, but once again, failing.  
>"You couldn't rhyme if your life depended on it!" Kakuzu snorted.<br>"Do these ropes, like, make my butt look fat?" I asked in a really snooty tone, wiggling my butt in the air, as my friends couldn't stop their giggling.  
>"Oh, No way Neji! How could your gorgeous butt EVER look fat? It's MY butt that's SO big!" Sasori responded poshly, rolling over next to me.<br>"My name is Sasuke Uchiha! I'm a whorish bitch who does nothing but have lesbian make out sessions with Naruto." I called, watching Itachi's snickering.  
>The door burst open, and The pretty blonde man, and the red headed guy walked in.<br>"What are your names?" The red-head asked Kakuzu, ignoring everyone else completely.  
>"Isn't is common courtesy to introduce yourself before asking for someone's name?" she spoke.<br>"Speak, or I kill you." He reasoned, pulling out a weird knife and putting it to her throat.  
>"Let me go, and I'll speak" She said bravely,<br>She didn't even wince as he sliced her cheek with the knife.  
>"I don't care how much you cut me up, Hun. All you have to do, is cut a rope or two. I'm not leaving here without my friends, so don't worry." She spoke calmly.<br>Kakuzu always had a way with words. She's always calm and collected, and for some reason, she can draw anyone in with her sweet, sweet lies.  
>The guy, cut a rope, and she shrugged the whole lot of the restrictions off.<br>"My name is Kakuzu. This here is Konan, Kisame, Deidara, Itachi, Hidan, and Sasori." She spoke, pointing to each of us.  
>"So, we can safely assume you people are our female equivalents." He muttered.<br>Kakuzu shrugged.  
>"Well, what's your name?"<br>"My name is Akasuna No Sasori, and the brat here is Deidara." He spoke simply.  
>"EH? Are you telling me, THAT is ME?" Sasori shrieked, wide eyed.<br>Sasori-no-M (Male) turned to her, and crouched down to her.  
>"Well, I'll quiz you." He spoke in that rather annoying mono-tone of his.<br>"Birthday."  
>"November 8th"<br>"Hobby?"  
>"I-Uh… Well.." Sasori blushed, as Kakuzu and I exchanged amused glances.<br>"Extending my porcelain doll collection… My family has made them for generations…" She mumbled, looking to the side bashfully.  
>Sasori-no-M raised an eyebrow.<br>"Porcelain dolls creep me out, personally." I muttered.  
>"OH! So that's why you latch on to me whenever you sleep over!" Sasori realised, turning her head to me.<br>I went to retort something, but Sasori-no-M interrupted.  
>"What I'm curious to know, is why Konan is the only one who hasn't been gender-switched."<br>"She's uber-sexy! Is that not enough reason for you?" Sasori spoke, looking devastated.  
>He shook his head irately.<br>"Whatever."  
>Deidara-no-M removed Itachi, and Hidan's duct-tape, while Sasori-No-M cut our ropes.<br>"About fucking time." Hidan muttered.  
>"We're taking you to a hot spring for some dumb reason, un." Deidara-No-M spoke, kicking his female equivalent's unconscious form.<br>"A HOT SPRING?" I squeaked, looking back and forth between the men holding us captive.  
>"Please don't say we'll have to get naked in front of each other." Itachi groaned, as I subconsciously covered my hardly-existent chest.<br>"On a vote, we're letting you stay. We'll train you up and send you off to different villages as spies." Sasori-no-M shrugged.  
>Sasori and I fell to the ground clutching our stomachs.<br>"YEAH RIGHT! ME? Fight?" Sasori gasped, as we rolled around in hysterics.  
>"Sadly, they have a point. Konan can barely run in a straight line without tripping over herself, and Sasori's the biggest coward ever!" Itachi added.<br>Both me and Sasori glowered at her.  
>"Only Hidan, Kakuzu and possibly Kisame have any chance of being your henchmen." I sighed, turning back to Sasori-M (Yes, I got rid of the 'no')<br>He and Deidara-M were grinning evilly.  
>"Oh, don't worry. You'll be fighting in no time. We're VERY harsh teachers." Sasori-M almost snickered.<br>I gulped.

SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE!  
>R&amp;R Please!<p> 


	5. THOSE SHOES ARE MINE, BITCH!

CHAPTER 5: Lesson 1- Do what Konan-F says.

We all uncomfortably stood in the change rooms.  
>The Akatsuki members were right next door in the male part (Aside from my alternate self who was keeping an eye on us in here.)<br>"What are you waiting for?" She asked, folding her arms sternly.  
>"I don't want them to see me naked!" Itachi squeaked, hiding behind Kisame.<br>"We're all girls. Now change before I make you!" Konan-F Shouted, stomping her foot down dangerously.  
>Sasori didn't need to be asked twice. She instantly replaced her dirty school uniform with a towel.<br>Yeah. She was a wimp like me.  
>When I say, 'Like me' I mean, I'd followed her actions exactly, hurrying the hell up before she hit us or something.<br>"Kisame, cover me." Itachi ordered, as Kisame held out a towel for her cousin to stand behind.  
>Everyone else kind of stood there, holding on to their pride for dear life.<br>"Just hurry up. This is no different to when we change into our sport uniform at school." Kakuzu snapped, folding her arms dangerously.  
>Hidan muttered something under her breath before proceeding to get changed, and Deidara stood there like a frightened rabbit.<br>Konan-F turned to Kakuzu with a sigh.  
>"Do you know how to get this crack-pot moving? Why is she frozen like that?" She questioned our brunette friend.<br>Sasori sighed.  
>"Deidara, please just get changed." She spoke.<br>Deidara nodded, realising all of us were done except her.  
>"This is gonna be GREAT!" Itachi shouted enthusiastically, bounding up and down.<br>"Wow, your mood changed suddenly." I deadpanned.  
>She glowered at me, as we all walked out to the hot spring.<br>"I'm just trying to be a little bit positive, unlike you- who's a total pessimist." She spoke.  
>"You little bitch! Try NOT insulting people next time you talk. This is why nobody likes you Itachi!" I snapped.<br>Kakuzu stepped between us.  
>"I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH! Look, most of these arguments have been centred around YOU Itachi. Please, we HAVE to try and stand each other for a while! Itachi, PLEASE stop being such a bitch, and Konan, Hidan and everyone else, STOP REACTING TO HER! She pisses me off too, but you we all have to just ignore it!" She shouted. Loudly.<br>"What do you MEAN, STOP ACTING LIKE A BITCH? I'm just defending myself. YOU'RE just getting angry because I pushed your precious Hidan-chan into the wormhole! What, got a bit of a crush on her, Kakuzu?" Itachi pressed.  
>Kakuzu snapped. Never in my life have I seen her look so… So murderous!<br>With a battle cry, she charged toward Itachi.  
>Itachi stood there calmly; I was wondering why- but then…<br>Kakuzu was held back, by thousands of pieces of what looked to be paper.  
>Konan-F walked between them.<br>"No more arguing. Get in the hot spring, stop acting like children." She said, in that cold tone of hers.  
>None of us said anything as we entered the hot water.<br>Everything was silent.  
>Well… Before…<p>

"YAHOOO! I love the hot springs!"  
>We watched as a huge wall of hot water arose from behind the fence. A.K.A; the male side of things.<br>"Hidan, don't Cannonball into the water like that, it goes everywhere."  
>"Don't tell me what the fuck I should and shouldn't do, Shithead! You're not my mother Kakuzu!"<br>I giggled, Hidan-M and Kakuzu-M seemed to argue like their female equivalents did.  
>Sasori had joined in my laughter.<br>"What's so funny? EH?" Hidan-M Shouted from the other side.  
>We laughed louder. That was definitely Hidan. No questions asked.<br>"Stop laughing fuckwits!" OUR Hidan snapped at us, as Kakuzu raised her eyebrows in amusement.  
>"This is funnier that Konan's Maggot cheerleading!" Sasori exclaimed, clutching her stomach.<p>

"So, I was wondering. What would you rate me, on a scale from 1-10 on my sex appeal?" Sasori asked after she'd calmed down, standing up in all her naked glory and striking a pose.  
>Deidara went bright red, and ducked under the water.<br>"I'll give you a 3" I snorted.  
>Hidan seemed to give it serious thought.<br>"Hmmm…. 4 and an eighth." She decided.  
>We looked at Kakuzu expectantly.<br>"6." She spoke.  
>We ignored Itachi, and turned to Kisame who blushed and shrugged.<br>We then turned to Konan-F who looked completely unamused.  
>"5 and a half." She ACTUALLY answered.<br>"And Our Deidara?" I called.  
>Two hands of five shot up from under the surface.<br>"And that's a ten." Sasori announced proudly.  
>"Your total score is 29.3 out of a possible 50." Kakuzu calculated.<br>"Woah! Kakuzu, you're really smart!" Sasori acknowledged, pointing at the brunette.  
>"No. That was simple addition." She sighed, getting out of the water.<br>"Awwweee! Why are you getting out?" I whined.  
>"Because I'm totally bored, and I have better things to do than hang around with you losers all day." She smirked, putting on a towel and walking back into the change rooms.<br>"Hey, did you guys see…"  
>"Yeah. She has massive boobs."<br>"No! God Sasori, you're such a pervert! It was the massive scar on her stomach."  
>"Oh? I didn't see it, sorry Konan. I was distracted."<br>"It looked like she'd been cut open or something…"  
>"She was."<br>We turned to Hidan with surprise.  
>"Huh? Do you know what happened then?" I asked, moving over to where she was.<br>"I was around seven at the time…" Hidan started, then stopped.  
>"Tch. Never mind…" She muttered, folding her arms.<br>I pouted.

* * *

><p>"So first, I want to see what you can do so far, and then- we're going to decide who should tutor you." Sasori-M announced, folding his arms.<br>We were all in basic shirts and shorts, villager clothing, but it was cheap enough.  
>The field we were in was big.<br>"So, how about Tall girl and silver there fight first." He decided, pointing to Kakuzu and Hidan.  
>They both did as they were told, and stood across from each other.<p>

"FIGHT, UN!" Deidara-M shouted.

We watched as Hidan lunged, over and over again, each time, Kakuzu blocking her attacks like it was nothing.  
>About twenty minutes of this, Kakuzu got bored, and kicked Hidan into a tree, and with a scream, Hidan was no longer able to fight.<br>"You have some potential. Both of you." Sasori-M thought out loud.  
>"Pigtail and Bimbo. You're next."<br>Kisame and Deidara stood across from each other.  
>Deidara lunged immediately and punched Kisame in the cheek.<br>Kisame still did nothing to prevent it.  
>"What are you DOING Kisa! Fight!" I shouted.<br>She shook her head, taking every hit, full force.  
>That was when Itachi stepped in.<br>"ALRIGHT. Deidara, I love you and all- but… I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" She screamed, proceeding to beat the crap out of Deidara, then walking away… Like a boss.  
>It was just me and Sasori left.<br>"I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP!" She screamed in mercy, before I'd even hit her.  
>I shrugged.<br>Sasori-M looked shocked.  
>Never in his life, has he ever seen such pathetic fighters.<br>"ALRIGHT, UN! You know how leader says we've got three years before we can start going after the Jinchuuriki?" Deidara-M whispered to Sasori-M excitedly.  
>"We take them off for two years, train them up, and make them fight again, un! It's genius!" He shouted excitedly.<br>My jaw nearly fell off its hinges.  
>"Well, in that case, I want to train the tall one." Sasori-M demanded.<br>Just then, the man with spiked orange hair and the face of Yahiko stepped into the scene.  
>"No. It makes more sense if you train your alternate, doesn't it?" He spoke, emotionlessly.<br>Kakuzu stormed over to them.  
>"NO WAY, THERE IS NO… WAY I AM ENTRUSTING MY GIRLS WITH YOU CREEPS!" She shouted, with a look that could make Chuck Norris shit himself.<br>They turned to her with unamused faces.  
>"We will do as we want. You will do as we want. So, please, do the SMART thing- and SHUT. UP." The Yahiko look-alike gritted his teeth.<br>Kakuzu scowled.  
>Sasori-M nodded.<br>"Alright then, we leave at dawn."

* * *

><p>We all slept on the concrete that night, so being woken up at 4am was NOT ideal.<br>Unfortunate, we had no choice.  
>The face of my older self, smiled at me as we walked somewhere.<br>"Don't look so sad. I'm not that mean." She told me.  
>I shook my head.<br>"I'm just gonna miss Sasori and all that." I sighed.  
>She patted my head.<br>"Well guess where we're going now?" She grinned.  
>I shrugged.<br>"I don't know. Hell?" I spoke sarcastically.  
>"Better," Konan-F spoke. "We're going shopping."<br>_

"So, when picking ninja clothing, you try to get something light and non-clingy." Konan-F pointed out.  
>"First off- let's try with underclothing. Let's try a closed fishnet bra." She suggested, getting one off the clothes rack.<br>"Alright, then I'm guessing some closed fishnet shorts?" I asked, and she nodded, handing me that too.  
>"Then we work on the outer layers. Let's go with some black shorts to put over." She smiled, putting them in my arms.<br>"Oh- how about this skirt here?" I asked, grabbing a trolley and dumping our selected items in.  
>She shook her head.<br>"The waistband should be elastic." She told me, and then proceeded to pick up a black elastic waist-band skirt slitted at the left thigh.  
>"Now all we need is a top, and possibly arm warmers depending what you pick." Konan-F sighed, looking around.<br>"Is this top alright?" I asked, pointing to a pale blue button up turtleneck with no sleaves.  
>It was split near the stomach, so it would reveal my pierced navel.<br>"Alright, Oh cool! We have matching elbow warmers!" She cheered, then paused.  
>"Oh! I almost forgot! You'll need sandals." She grinned, as I heaved the trolley over to the shoe section.<br>"How about those cute mid-thigh ones?" Konan-F chuckled, pointing.  
>"Lucky! There's only one pair in my size…" I fist pumped.<br>"Or NOT so lucky, because I'm going to get them first, whore!" A brunette snapped, glaring at me.  
>I gave her the dirtiest look I could puke up.<br>Then we both pounced at the shoes, fighting each other off for it.  
>She pulled my hair, and I kicked her stomach as we rolled around fighting.<br>"Hey, Konan. Withdraw." Konan-F spoke smoothly behind me.  
>I sighed, and slapped the girl across the face once more before getting up, and walking off.<br>"HA! I WON, YOU COWARDLY BITCH!" She shouted.  
>"Yeah, won what? I wonder." Konan-F giggled once we were out of the girl's sight.<br>I raised an eyebrow at her, before she held up the very same shoes I was fighting for.  
>"Konan… You… YOU NINJA!" I shrieked, high fiving her.<p>

**NOTE TO SELF: I HAVE THE BEST SENSEI EVER.**

* * *

><p><strong>HAHAHA ONE OF YOU FIGURED IT OUT!<strong>  
><strong>Hidan and Kakuzu's relationship is partially based on Mori and Hani from OHSHC, but the thing that made it obvious was that they were from clan's that specialise in Martial Arts!<strong>  
><strong>However, I also based Kisame off Mori, when it comes to being the silent protector.<strong>

**Next chapter you'll get a little glimpse of how everyone was trained during the two years.**  
><strong>LOOK FORWARD TO IT, GUYS!<strong>  
><strong>:D<strong>


	6. The treatment, training and the catch

I was all spick and span in my new outfit, and so ready to start training.  
>"Alright, Konan. Ninja will have to endure a lot of pain. Seeing as you will be tortured for information if you get caught… I'm going to hurt you. Now, if you say mercy, I will stop- however, you have to try and hold out as long as you can without saying it." Konan-F smirked.<br>Before I had time to blink, she punched me in the jaw.  
>It hurt. LIKE A BITCH.<br>And of course, me being the total wimp I am…  
>"MERCY! MERCY! STOP!" I screeched, cowering on the ground.<br>She sighed, and held out her hand for me to take.  
>"We have A LOT of work to do… Maybe we should start by giving you chakra."<p>

* * *

><p>DEIDARA P.O.V<p>

The two of us walked into the medical clinic with matching grins plastered on our faces.  
>The male of us, was hitting the service bell repeatedly.<br>"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT- Oh, Hey Deidara… And Deidara's friend." A woman with raven hair smiled, walking over to us.  
>"Hey Rena-san, un. This is my pupil. She's pretty useless at everything, so I gathered I could get you to teach her some Medical nin-jutsu if anything, yeah." I watched as Deidara-M spoke casually.<br>Rena turned to me with a serious look.  
>"Oh? Are you any good with chakra control?" She asked me, placing her hands on her hips.<br>I furrowed my brows.  
>"What's Chakra?" I asked Deidara-M curiously.<br>He sighed.  
>"She doesn't know really anything. She doesn't even HAVE chakra, yeah. So I was thinking you could get her started, use THAT jutsu. I mean, once you pump some chakra into her, she'll be able to use chakra forever." He talked to her about things I couldn't understand at all.<br>"That treatment takes 12 hours! It's the worst pain in the world- she can't take any drugs to help it or anything! Are you really sure?"  
>So I zoned out.<p>

* * *

><p>Kakuzu P.O.V<p>

I screamed in agony, gripping the towel in my hand as tight as I could.  
>The pain was unbearable. I could pass out any moment.<br>No. I have to stay strong.  
>There was a hand in my stomach. Oh god, don't think about it.<br>"AGHH!" I shrieked, shutting my eyes tight.  
>It's nearly over. Come on, suck it up.<br>"!" I cried, collapsing as the last seal was placed on me.  
>I was sweaty, and barely conscious.<br>"Well, I've finished the treatment- so you can see her now if you want." I heard the doctor speak from the next room.  
>A tiny bit of drool spilt from my mouth as I tried to catch my breath.<br>I couldn't move. I just lay on the bed, on my stomach as sweat ran down my face.  
>"Hey. Sounded painful." Kakuzu-M snickered, sitting down next to the bed.<br>I flipped him off, turning my head to show him my best 'fuck you.' Face.  
>"Why are you such an ass?" I breathed, rolling onto my back.<br>"I would be thankful If I were you! That treatment cost me 5,000 Ryo!" He snapped.  
>I rolled my eyes.<br>"I don't even know the currency here. So shut up." I murmured, staring at the ceiling.  
>"Don't annoy me. I will kill you, no matter what leader says." He threatened.<br>I snorted.  
>"Go ahead. Can't be worse than that treatment." I yawned.<p>

* * *

><p>Sasori P.O.V<br>"That was horrible." I sighed, washing my face, before turning to Sasori-M with a frown.  
>"I can't believe you made me do that." I growled.<br>He smirked.  
>"You'll thank me later. Now let' start on that training."<p>

* * *

><p>Kisame P.O.V<br>I said nothing and dodged the massive blows Kisame-M was throwing.  
>It was simple, but I only wanted to dodge… Imagine if I'd hurt him? Oh no…<br>It'll be like that time when I- Oh no!  
>He landed a hit on my cheek, and I fell to the ground.<br>The fury was rising, I could feel it in my stomach.  
>I got up, seriously.<br>"Oh, yeah? Two can play at that game." I growled, speaking for the first time since I got here.

* * *

><p>Itachi P.O.V<br>"Why should I fight! I just went through a fucking painful treatment! Besides, I might get hurt or something!" I snapped at Itachi-M, who didn't display any emotion.  
>"Why are you so arrogant?" He asked me with a serious expression.<br>"Me? I'm not arrogant!" I shouted.  
>"I guess you might as well know, seeing as we're stuck together for two years." He sighed.<br>I blinked in surprise.  
>"What?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.<br>"I have a little brother named Sasuke…" He started, and I realised- this story might take a while.

Hidan P.O.V  
>"YEEEEHHAAHHH!" I screamed throwing kicks at Hidan-M who looked tired as heck.<br>"Oh my Jashin! Can we just take a FUCKING BREAK?" He screamed, blocking a punch I threw.  
>"Why?" I asked with a grin, retreating for now.<br>"We've been fighting for TWO fucking days! How are you not tired, bitch?" He shouted at me.  
>I shrugged.<br>"I have good stamina, I guess…" I trailed off.  
>"I'm taking a fucking break before I drop dead or some shit like that." He muttered, sitting down on the grass.<br>I pouted.  
>"Alright… I guess ONE break wont hurt."<p>

* * *

><p>KONAN AGAIN! YAY!<p>

What the hell made me think she wasn't a harsh teacher?  
>Konan-F can be the FRACKING DEVIL HIMSELF if she wants.<br>Take right now, for instance.  
>She's throwing heavy inanimate objects at me like, say- A TREE!<br>It hit my already broken arm, and I screamed.  
>"I THOUGHT YOU WERE SERIOUS KONAN! GET OFF YOUR BUTT, and START DODGING THESE ATTACKS." She ordered, and I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks.<br>_I can't do this, I can't-  
><em>_**Yes you can.**_  
>It took me a while to work out that the voice was coming from inside my head.<br>I blinked.  
><em>What the-<br>__**I am your inner demon. I think you're pathetic, so I'm offering you my power.  
><strong>__What's the catch?  
><em>_**No catch. It just shortens your life by- uhh let's say one year.  
><strong>__Most people would agree that was a catch.  
><em>_**Come on, she's waiting. You want to be a disappointing student for her, Konan?  
><strong>__Well- I…  
><em>_**Let me out- I can make you stronger, stronger that anyone can dream.**_

I got to my feet, feeling immense power flowing through my body.  
>"That's it, good girl…" I heard Konan-F encourage.<br>"Throw another tree at me, and I'll kill you." I smirked, licking my lips.  
>"YES! Finally, your demon has awoken." I heard her smirk.<br>I punched a tree with my good hand, creating a good dint.  
>"Let's do this." I smirked.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><br>Short chapter, sorry guys!  
>Next chapter will be set two years later, we can finally get a good look at what their abilities are!<br>Excited?**

NEXT CHAPTER: RE-MATCH!


	7. REMATCH! You tired yet?

Katielove223: My story stinks, eh? Well, that's something both you and my story have in common.  
>Please don't bother me again.<p>

Thank you to: . .x, A55, CuteyJayAnimelover1, Thunder Krystal, kitsuneluvuh, XAnime4lifeX, Kikaruson, Jashin loves me, Sora and the 14th, wheelchairmaniac99, and POTATTY the hat for reviewing so far :D  
>Expecially A55, . .x, Thunder Kyrstal and CuteyJayAnimelover1- Because they review the most… And I love them all.<p>

Anyway! SORRY about the late update! I had about 800 words of the chapter written, and then I did something stupid and mindlessly deleted all of the files on my computer, excluding music.  
>Ah. All of my writing and school assignments, gone!<br>So! You better enjoy this chapter…

CHAPTER 7: Re-match! You tired yet?

"I wonder how much everyone's changed…" I giggled, picturing my friend's faces in my mind again.  
>"Probably a lot. With those sadists as their teachers, some of them may be willing to kill their opponent, disregarding their emotional ties completely, so you might very well be killed. Ah well we're nearly there, so I guess you'll find out, right?" Konan-F smirked, fixing up the origami flower next to my pony-tail.<br>She gave me this when we finished our training this morning.  
>Now we kind of match, except my hair is longer and in a ponytail, whereas hers is shorter and in a bun.<br>Pein's Deva path walked on my right through the dirt path surrounded by trees.  
>I still feel sick, seeing Yahiko's face. But I know the story behind it now.<br>Why is he here, anyway? Well, Konan is Pein's messenger 'Lady Angel' and they have to be around their village, you know?  
>So that's where I've been in the past 24 months, and, man I never thought I'd get used to rain.<p>

The reunion would happen just outside the village, I was pumped with adrenaline.  
>I mean, who knows what abilities everyone possesses now!<br>"Look! I think that's Sasori!" Konan-F pointed to two shadows in the distance.  
>I felt the anticipation in my stomach.<br>"Go ahead, If you'd like." Pein shrugged, as my eyes lit up and I started bolting towards the figures, before leaping at the smaller one.  
>"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" I cried, hugging the life out of it, and at one point, I might have kissed it.<br>"GET OFF ME, YOU CRAZY BITCH!" I head a… rather masculine voice roar.  
>Pinned bellow me was Sasori-M, looking VERY pissed off.<br>I felt my face go red.  
>"I am… SO sorry…. I just assumed the FEMALE would be the feminine one!" I laughed nervously, oblivious to Sasori-M's venomous glare.<br>I turned to my old friend, who was giggling like crazy.  
>"My god, you REALLY wanted me bad, didn't you?" She laughed, as I took in her appearance.<br>Her curly red locks fell down to her waist, and she wore a basic red short-sleeved blouse and loose pants.  
>She was so simple with her wardrobe, unlike me, who was wearing a dark sleeveless turtleneck unbuttoned waist down, revealing my navel piercing, a black skirt slitted at the left thigh, white shorts and the same shoes me and Konan-F bought in chapter 5.<p>

"You're both hotter than I remember, Heh." A voice a recognised as my insane little science-nerd.  
>"Deidara, you've lost your crazy, I see." Sasori-M noted, raising a brow at her outfit.<br>She wore black shorts, sandals and a black jacket over a fishnet top.  
>"My, my- someone's looking pink." Deidara-M spoke, glancing right past us.<br>I turned to see Itachi, Kisame and their male equivalents, walking towards us.  
>Itachi, wearing her hair in its usual side-ponytail, and wearing a pink dress-like thing, and black pants under it.<br>Kisame had cut her blue hair short, and it was now it cute little pigtails.  
>She wore a dark-blue jacket and black pants.<br>Then there's only…" I trailed off as Kakuzu-M and Hidan-M walked towards us, looking totally unamused and tired.  
>I opened my mouth to ask where their female equivalents were, when-<br>"NINJA ART: WHIRLWIND DANCE!" A VERY, VERY Kakuzu sounding voice called.  
>We all let our jaws drop to the floor as trees flew like birds, ending up in little pieces on the ground.<br>"That all you got?" A Hidan-like voice called back.  
>Kakuzu and Hidan moved their fight over to our area, and my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.<br>Kakuzu had one ARM CUT OFF, and, Hidan looked like she's just been sliced my thousands of butcher knives.  
>"What the…" Sasori trailed off, looking at Kakuzu-M and Hidan-M questioningly.<br>"They've been at it for nearly four days now." Kakuzu-M muttered.  
>"F-four DAYS, UN?" Deidara-M stammered, eyes wide.<br>Hidan was swinging around a MASSIVE HATCHET, and Kakuzu was belting out elemental techniques like there was no tomorrow.  
>One things was for sure. They WERE trying to kill each other.<br>Legitimately.  
>They wanted the other to die.<br>As in, never come back.

"My god… Well, they probably can't fight for much longer anyway." Sasori sighed, sitting down on the dirt.

Yeah, well… 16 HOURS or so later, Kakuzu was on her knees, exhausted and chakra-drained.  
>Hidan… wasn't even panting. She didn't look tired in the slightest.<br>"That's it… I'm done." Kakuzu huffed.  
>Hidan frowned.<br>"WHAT? BULL SHIT! I barely got to fucking do anything!" She cried.  
>"I'm literally about the die!" Kakuzu snapped, gesturing Kakuzu-M over.<br>"Please sew on my arm…" She muttered, as he proceeded to do so with those weird tentacle things of his.  
>"That's fucking gross." Hidan muttered, high-fiving Hidan-M with a triumphant smirk.<br>"That's some impressive stamina." Pein commented.  
>Hidan-M turned to him blankly.<br>"She can fight for ten days straight without any fucking fatigue! It's so fucking annoying when we spar!" He shouted.  
>My eye twitched.<br>"Well… Fuck." I spoke, watching Deidara rush over to Kakuzu's side.  
>"I can heal you…" She offered, as Kakuzu merely nodded.<br>"Impressive…" Sasori acknowledged, watching Deidara heal Kakuzu with ease.  
>"Yeah, she's great at it, un." Deidara-M boasted, looking proud.<p>

"Well, I think Kisame and Deidara were supposed to fight next…" Pein started, "But Kisame is incapable of fighting at the current time?" He trailed off, looking at Kisame-M who nodded in confirmation.  
>"Itachi vs Deidara?" I guessed, and he nodded. Sasori and I exchanged confused looks.<br>Deidara-M cheered on his blonde pupil, and Itachi smiled at Itachi-M politely.  
>I know right? Itachi? polite? WHAT'S THIS WORLD COMING TO?<br>The two teens stood in front of each other, not moving until Itachi made some hand seals, before bringing her hands up to her eyes.  
>With that, Deidara started acting weird, looking around, shouting random things, before falling to the ground, panting heavily.<br>She got up again, throwing shurriken at nothing.  
>But she paused, biting her lip hard, blood trickling down her chin.<br>"Kai..." She whispered.  
>"Kai… Kai!…. KAI!" She formed the sign of the tiger, before falling down, trying to catch her breath.<br>Itachi smiled.  
>"Impressive. It took you a while, but you saw through my Gen-jutsu." She acknowledged.<br>Deidara gripped her shurriken pouch, opening it, and pulling out…  
>"A soldier pill." Sasori blinked, smirking.<p>

Itachi performed some hand seals before spewing a big ass fireball from her mouth.  
>Deidara, rolled to the side in time, and threw three kunai at Itachi.<br>Itachi leaped away once she spotted the explosive tags attached to them.  
>A giant ditch was formed from the explosion that followed.<br>Deidara ran forward, extremely controlled chakra forming around her hands, and she started swinging at Itachi, using her hands as 'scalpels.'  
>"If that so much as brushes her, she could very well die." Sasori-M muttered.<br>"The brat's gotten… really quite good…" Sasori smirked placing her chin in her hands.  
>I raised an amused eyebrow at her somewhat loving expression.<br>I opened my mouth to tease her, but heard a gut clenching scream coming from the battlefield.  
>I whirled my head around, to see one of Deidara's chakra scalpel-hands pierced through Itachi's torso.<br>"What the…" I trailed off, sweat trickling down my temple.  
>Sasori's eyes widened.<br>"That's a vital point!" She gasped in disbelief.  
>Itachi-M called the match, quick to get over there, and remove Deidara's arm.<br>"Heal her." He spoke calmly, but somewhat urgently, turning to Deidara.  
>Deidara nodded, pressing her blood-soaked hands on the wound and performing the mystical palm technique.<br>Itachi kept a firm grip on Itachi-M's wrist, in agony, gritting her teeth together.  
>"Use more Chakra, un." Deidara-M called in a bored tone, obviously not having any regard for Itachi's life.<br>Deidara nodded, strengthening the technique.  
>After a good five minutes, Itachi's would was mostly healed up.<br>She got to her feet with Itachi-M's help, and meekly congratulated Deidara on her victory.  
>Itachi had changed.<br>What could have possible renewed her personality like that?

Sasori crept up behind me.  
>"A bit fishy, those two…" She smirked at the two Itachi's.<br>I blinked, following her view.  
>Itachi-M was wrapping bandages around Itachi's stab-wound.<br>I smirked in sudden realisation.  
>"Who, Kisame and Kisame-M?" I grinned, as Sasori picked up on my lame joke.<br>She snickered, nudging me playfully.  
>"Now, we have a fight, sista." Sasori chuckled.<br>I grinned back.  
>"Bring it."<p>

_  
>YAY! New chapter soooooooonnnn!<p>

Sasori-VS Konan.

Y'all excited?  
>You should be. Because their fight is epic. I promise you. <p>


	8. Puppets, Paper, and Family issues

It was so weird, seeing my little red-head friend so serious.  
>She occasionally smirked at me, as we waited for our cue to begin.<br>"Go." Pein called eventually.  
>I immediately flipped backwards, measuring my distance carefully.<br>Sasori parted her stance, getting ready for offence or defence.  
>I realised she was waiting for me to attack.<br>"You go first." I insisted, drawing a kunai.  
>She snickered, pulling a small scroll out of her shurriken pouch before jumping into the air and flinging it open.<br>There was a puff of smoke, and for a moment there, I couldn't see a thing.  
>Then, there it was.<br>What she had summoned.  
>A very realistic looking puppet... So realistic, I could've sworn it was alive once.<br>Wait…  
>"W-was that a human?" I asked wearily, watching its life-like features.<br>Her expression remained placid as she spoke.  
>"My own work, as well… Want to know how it's done?" She spoke, slyly letting her lips turn upwards.<br>The atmosphere seemed daunting all of a sudden.  
>She took a step forward.<br>"First, I remove the organs and drain the victim of its blood…" She licked her lips, taking another step forwards.  
>On instinct, I started backing away.<br>"Then, I wash the body, until it's nice and clean..." She kept talking, moving towards me at an intentionally slow pace.  
>"And then, I pull out the bones, careful not to damage the chakra network-"<br>I flung a kunai, not wanting to listen anymore.  
>"Someone's feisty." Sasori commented, moving her fingers slightly as the puppet caught the weapon mid-air, and threw it away.<br>I bit my lip.  
>So we're both long-range fighters, huh?<br>I sighed, moving my hands to form a few hand-seals.  
>Paper started whirling around my body, and Sasori's eyebrow's raised in surprise.<br>"Ninja art: Dance of the Shikigami." I spoke calmly, as my body transformed into thousands of tiny pieces of paper, and some of the paper folded through my back to form wings.  
>From there, I kept flight in mid-air.<br>Sasori smirked, as two blades, like propellers come out of the puppet's hips.  
>"Kaechi here can fly as well." She commented, as her puppet took flight, like myself.<br>I flew straight towards it, hardening some paper till it was sharp as a kunai, and sending it to slice the puppet into useless parts.  
>The legs, arms and head, scattered and fell to the ground uselessly.<br>"I must say, I'm disappointed." I spoke, hovering back to my original distance.  
>Sasori faked an overwhelmed look and sighed, placing a hand on her forehead.<br>"Oh my! What ever will I do?" She spoke in monotone, before I saw her fingers twitch slightly.  
>The mouth on the head of the puppet dropped open, and thousands of kunai shot out of it.<br>I calmly flung my paper kunai at her, the weapons clashing and falling on the floor after about a minute or so.  
>"So, what's going on? I thought only Sasori-M could make Human puppets." I asked Sasori, as she looked up at me with a sickly sweet smile.<br>"We're the same person, remember? Just different Genders." She shrugged, pulling out another scroll.  
>"And… What's that?" I asked, raising a brow.<br>Sasori sighed, and performed some hand signs.  
>In another puff of smoke, a spear appeared.<br>I frowned.  
>"Just a spear?" I asked as she began spinning it around.<br>"Not 'Just a spear'" She spoke irately. Throwing it at me.  
>It was so fast I couldn't even dodge it.<br>Sections unclipped, and it revealed a long chain which swung and wrapped around my waist.  
>I let out a small scream, as she yanked me down.<br>"Let's get you out of the air!" Sasori shouted, as I slammed into the dirt harshly.  
>I heard something crack, my head hurt like a bitch.<br>"Ughhh!" I groaned, trying to move, but not being successful.  
><strong><br>Konan.  
>Konan, listen to me.<br>**_Wh-what?  
><em>**It's me. Mi.  
><strong>_Oh god, not YOU again! No! I WILL NOT BE MAKING A DEAL WITH YOU!  
><em>**Shut up and listen to me. Sasori is going to kill you. The chains are poisoned, and are burning your skin. You NEED me. I have healing abilities- If you just use my power I can-  
><strong>_I can only use your power against Konan-F! And that's because she has the inner demon in her too! I am NOT killing my best friend, subconsciously or otherwise, understood?  
><em>**SHE'S STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE ME, KONAN! I PROMISE YOU, I WONT KILL HER.  
><strong>_I don't- I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!  
><em>**That's it. I'm forcing my way out. There is no way in hell, I'm going to let myself die.  
><strong>_H-HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!_

I opened my eyes groggily, steam pouring from my healing wounds.  
>I managed to rip the chain off me, as Sasori stared with wide eyes.<br>"What the hell?" She whispered, dropping her spear.  
>Sasori-M shouted something to her, I don't know what it was- but next thing I knew, Sasori was in the air, intense chakra pouring from her body.<br>My long nails attempted to scratch at her, I cut a few trees in half on the way.  
>She lifted one arm, and an air pipe shot out of her hand.<br>Fire shot from it, burning the forest.  
>I felt my skin burning as she got me with it.<br>I roared, picking up a paper kunai, and charging at her.  
>Sasori just burnt the paper, her fire running out not long after that.<br>"Earth-style, dark swamp." She spat, placing her hands on the ground as I fell into a puddle of oozing, sticky, hot mud.  
>"And while we're at it, how about some oil?" She laughed, as the air pipe shot out oil and it covered me in it.<br>"DAMN IT! You know my weakness!" I shouted, Mion was losing her control over me.  
>"I g-give up! I GIVE UP!" I shouted, falling onto the floor.<br>Konan-F ran over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.  
>"Are you alright? Why did you use Mi? Huh? You KNOW that shortens your life!" she scolded.<br>"I'm sorry…." I mumbled, trying to wipe some of the oil away.  
>"Alright, all of you. Hit the showers." Pein called absently, walking over to me.<br>"Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere? Do you want some water?" He murmured somewhat urgently, as he checked my skin over for wounds.  
>"Stop fussing over her like she's five! She can take care of herself." Konan-F snapped, slapping his hand away.<br>"I'm SORRY for being worried about her!" He hissed back.  
>I watched in faint amusement at their bickering.<br>They were bickering just like what my parents used to…  
>This incredible sense of belonging took over me, and I turned into a cry-baby, as I sobbed into my hands.<br>"Look! See, you made her cry!" Konan-F accused.  
>"Me? You were the one yelling at her when she was hurt!" He countered.<br>Konan-F shook her head and turned to me.  
>"What's wrong, honey?" she spoke, rubbing my back comfortingly.<br>I cried more as a goofy smile crossed my face.  
>"I-It's just… I w-was reminded of m-my parents… A-and I…" I trailed off laughing slightly.<br>Konan-F looked at Pein with her eyebrows raised. She got up and started walking off.  
>"She gets her sensitivity from you." I heard her mutter.<br>Pein blinked at her.  
>"I am not sensitive!" He denied.<br>Konan-F turned sharply.  
>"Please, you used to cry every day as a child! Remember, how it used to drive Yahiko insane?" She asked.<br>"Need I remind you two, that we aren't at all genetically related, yet you just said 'She gets her sensitivity from you.'" I giggled, as Konan-F's face went red.  
>"I-It was a wording mistake!" She argued, storming off.<br>Pein and I exchanged looks.  
>"She's just upset you didn't win." He smirked.<br>I got up with a laugh, and we started walking.  
>"Peeeeeiiiinnnnnn…..?" I sung wickedly.<br>"Yeah?" He gave me a suspicious look.  
>"Can I have a piggyback?" I asked.<br>He paused and looked at me in disbelief.  
>"M-Me? The LEADER of a damn criminal organization giving a little girl a piggy back?" He asked in awe.<br>I nodded.  
>He rolled his eyes.<br>"Whatever. But don't tell Konan about this, or she'll go all 'she didn't win! Don't reward her!'" on me.  
>I nodded, and jumped onto his back.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>SO SORRY ABOUT the LOOOOONNNGGGGGG wait!<br>I got lazy .  
>I was trying to show how Pein and Konan subconsciously treat her like their daughter :D<br>I liked the idea is all XD**


	9. Kuuuuzuchaaaann

**I actually need to put a warning here!  
>I will not lie. There IS an explicate scene at the end of this chapter. It's not nearly bad enough to be a lemon- but it is a strong lime.<br>For all of you who can't handle a bit of action, then I placed an 'X' where it starts.  
>It's actually not that bad, but you can read around it if you want.<br>Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9- Kuzu-chan**

All of us girls, including Konan-F, were in the one room. Thankfully not on Concrete anymore.  
>"Hey, Kakuzu. You're twenty now, aren't you?" Sasori asked the brunette with a smirk.<br>Kakuzu nodded.  
>"Woah! She's older than Deidara-M!" Hidan grinned.<br>"Not to mention Hotter, cooler, and taller." I added.  
>Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.<br>"Hey, did you guys know there's a theme park near here?" Itachi asked, turning to Konan-F specifically.  
>"Not that I care, but no." She replied, sitting against the wall.<br>Hidan and Sasori shot up like rocket-ships.  
>"I WANNA GO!" They shouted in a creepy unison.<br>Konan-F snorted in faint amusement.  
>"Good luck convincing Kakuzu…M…" She spoke, nearly forgetting to say the 'M'.<br>All of our eyes locked on to OUR Kakuzu.  
>She blinked, looking at us nervously.<br>"What? Why are you all staring at me with those creepy expressions?" She asked.  
>"Hey, you know Kakuzu-M well, right Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, shuffling closer to her childhood friend.<br>Kakuzu frowned in realisation.  
>"No way. I am NOT convincing that old fool to waste a heap of money on a stupid amusement park!" She snapped.<br>Hidan sighed, before moving closer.  
>"Pre-tty please~?" She sung, nudging the older girl's shoulder.<br>Kakuzu looked at her with a scowl.  
>"No."<br>"Kuzu-chan…" Hidan pouted, as the rest of us watched in awe.  
>Kakuzu shivered slightly.<br>"N-No."  
>"Kuzu-chaa~n…" She whispered softer this time, into the brunette's ear.<br>Kakuzu's face went red, and she shivered again.  
>"S-stop it. I said N-no." She tried to speak firmly.<br>"Not even if I pay you…?" We barely heard Hidan mutter.  
>Kakuzu was silent.<br>"Kuzu-chan?"  
>"I hope you have cash on you." Kakuzu sighed, accepting defeat.<br>Sasori and I exchanged glances of disbelief.  
>Hidan just swayed Kakuzu's decision, just by saying 'Kuzu-chan' and offering her some money.<br>I looked at Konan-F, who was holding a dumbstruck expression on her face.  
>The silver haired teen finished handing Kakuzu some money.<br>Kakuzu got up and left the room, her face still red with embarrassment.  
>"What the… FUCK, did you just DO? That was the most amazing thing I've seen in my life!" Konan-F blurted.<br>Hidan smirked.  
>"It's a trick I leant a long time ago. That nickname makes her shiver for some reason. It's like the equivalent of money to her. You just gotta say it right, and she'll do anything for you." Hidan grinned, giving us the peace sign.<br>"That was a dirty trick." Sasori spoke coyly, before shuffling over to me, and whispering 'Ko-cha~n' in my ear.  
>I sat in silence for a moment.<br>"Nope. I didn't feel a shiver." I told her.  
>She frowned.<br>"Damn. Maybe it's just Hidan who can do it." She thought out loud.  
>Hidan nodded.<br>"Only I can do it, and it only works on her." She grinned.  
>Sasori giggled.<br>"Maybe it's a cru-"  
>Hidan shook her head again.<br>"Hidan-M can do it too." She told us.  
>Sasori grinned.<br>"Maybe Kakuzu-M ALSO has a cru-"  
>Konan-F laughed.<br>"Not likely. Different things turn different people on, I guess." She concluded.

Kakuzu-

The redness shed from my face as I walked down the corridor.  
>Damn that Hidan.<br>I came to the last door on the right, and knocked twice. There was no answer.  
>I shrugged, and opened the door- closing it softly behind me.<br>Kakuzu-M was sitting at a desk, reading. His mask and cloak were off, as expected.  
>I calmly sat down on his bed, and waited for him to finish up whatever paragraph he was on.<br>After a minute or so, he put the book down and turned to me.  
>"Yes?" He asked placidly.<br>I sighed.  
>"There is a theme park nearby, and I was sexually harassed until I agreed to convince you to let us go." I responded.<br>"No way am I wasting money on something so stupid. Wait- Sexually harassed?" He asked with faint amusement.  
>"She called me Kuzu-chan…" I mumbled, burying my tomato-red face in my hands.<br>He blinked in utter confusion.  
>"That's all? What's so bad about that?"<br>I sighed.  
>"You don't get it…" I mumbled, before I walked over and sat in his lap, wrapped an arm around his neck, and whispered into his ear.<br>"Can we go to the theme park together?… Pre~tty please … Ku….zu…. chan?" I spoke in the sexiest voice I could dish up. Oh yeah, and _I could dish up one hell of a sexy voice._  
>He tensed, and I let a smirk play my lips-<br>Sorry Sensei. You're gonna be wasting a lot of money soon.  
>Ever so slowly… I ran my fingers through his hair.<br>"Ku…zu….chan?" I whispered again.  
>He shivered.<br>_Got ya._  
>I took a deep breath. I'm <strong><em>demanding<em>** more money after this.  
>Then, I pressed my lips against his, and I think he fell into a deep state of SHOCK.<br>Now, I'm not a good romantic. I've never had a boyfriend, and I've only ever _seen_ people kiss before. I may not be totally gorgeous, however I **have** sex appeal. This is the advantage of being a woman.  
>"I'll do anything, Kuzu…. Please… I really, really want to go…" I spoke.<br>I could tell he was attempting to suppress any redness from coming to his cheeks.  
>Kissing him again, I slowly got off him, and pulled him to his feet.<br>He still refused to give in.  
><em>Damn. He's good at this… Fine. I've got something else up my sleeve anyway.<br>_Swiftly, I threw him onto the bed, and sat on top of him. It was weird, considering- he was actually a lot bigger than me. Yet, I had him pinned down.  
>But, a man is a man. And if I couldn't do this- then I'm a failure as a Kunoichi, aren't I?<br>"Kuzu… I meant it. I really want to go to that theme park… Pretty please?" I begged softly.  
>He was biting his lip now, closing his eyes- trying to resist giving in.<br>Okay, now I was serious. In case you loving readers didn't know… I don't like losing. It's not cool. I get bitter, and start snapping at people.  
>I did what I HAD to. So understand this.<br>I kind of purposely rubbed my knee against… a certain something.

X  
>His eyes immediately snapped open and he glared at me.<br>I pouted in response, un-doing his shirt, and throwing it on the floor with innocence.  
>A tiny bead of sweat ran down his cheek.<br>Nearly smirking, I took off my coat, and reached into my shirt.  
>He twitched slightly, as I pulled out a stack of money, and carelessly threw it onto the floor, followed by my mesh shirt.<br>I was left in my shorts, and closed fishnet bra, and his eyes were still on the money I dropped.  
>Well, I'd have to change that.<br>Although, I know. That was pretty low, even for me. But hey, I was being paid for this.  
>I slowly moved my knee against him again, sitting on his left thigh.<br>I kissed him, before rocking my body forward once, and watching him sigh in defeat.  
>"Kuzu….?" I asked softly.<br>"Fine." He muttered.  
>I blinked. Wait- what?<br>"Really?" I asked slowly.  
>"That was a dirty trick. Don't you ever do that again." He growled.<br>"Do what?" I asked innocently, before grinding against him again.  
>He drew in a sharp breath, before glaring daggers at me.<br>"Oh… You meant that?" I smiled sweetly.  
>"Seriously. Stop. I already said we can go." He told me, keeping his voice down in case he woke anyone who was sleeping.<br>When he put it that way… It wasn't enough for me.  
>So, I felt inclined to do it again… And again…<br>"I t-told you to stop!" He stammered.  
>I kept going, my breaths becoming short as I couldn't control myself anymore.<br>"I can't stop…" I hissed, moving faster.  
>He had hold of the bed sheets, tightly.<br>I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my red face into his shoulder as I drew in sharp breaths.  
>"Crap… I'm going to-"<br>There was a knock on the door.  
>"Kakuzu. It's 1 am, and the girls are all calling it a night." Konan-F called softly from outside.<br>"That's fine… I'm staying here for a bit. I won't wake anyone up…" I replied, just as soft.  
>"Alright. Good night." She spoke, and I listened as her footsteps trailed off.<br>I collapsed on Kakuzu-M's chest, catching the breath I'd lost, as he did the same.  
>"Well… Fuck." I breathed out.<br>He put his arms around me with a sigh, and I clicked the lights off.  
>"What was that for?" He asked.<br>I kissed him, waiting to get some sort of response this time.  
>When I got it, I pulled him up by the neck, and took his hand, placing it on the back of my bra.<br>"Unclip it…" I muttered, before smashing our lips together again.  
>That was one more Item of clothing tossed on the floor.<br>X

**KYA! I'm SO SORRY! I can't write shit like that if my life depended on it.  
>That's the closest this story gets to lemons though.<br>I'm WAY too innocent to go any further than that.**

**Review, please! Or I'll rip your head off.  
>BTW. THEMEPARK CHAPTER NEXT! BOO YA!<strong>


	10. Solace

**Alright, I do actually want to change P.O.V's every few chapters or so. Right now, I'm staying in….  
>Heheheheh…. 'Kuzu~Chaaann's' *shiver* P.O.V!<br>And also- Yeah. I know some people put this story on their favorites and story alert without reviewing.  
>Too lazy to press a button? And type a few words?<strong>

**XD I'll get you one day… Eventually.**

_  
><strong>Kakuzu-<strong>

When I woke up, I found myself naked and entangled with a _certain someone._  
>And no, I'm gonna go all-'OHEMGEE! This never happened!' and freak out, because I was sober, and responsible for my own actions.<br>But, let me just say- this gives a whole new meaning to 'Go fuck yourself'  
>I snickered, as Kakuzu-M murmured things in his sleep.<br>Yawning, I detached myself from him.  
>I stared blankly at the clock.<br>It was 6:30 am.  
>Too early considering I fell asleep at 2.30 am.<br>I turned back to my male equivalent, watching him sleep for a minute or so, before playing with his hair.  
>It was a darker brown from mine, and it was just past shoulder length, an inch or so longer than mine as well.<br>"Kuzu-chaa~n…" I mumbled in his ear.  
>He subconsciously shivered in his sleep.<br>"I have money for you Kuzu-chan…" I whispered.  
>Kakuzu-M opened his eyes groggily, and after a few seconds, noticed my presence and jerked back in surprise when he realized our lack of clothing. He took a few seconds to remember what happened, then relaxed, putting his head down on his pillow.<br>"Time?" He asked.  
>"6:39" I responded, as he sat up.<br>The door opened suddenly.  
>"Hey, Kakuzu- Do you know why the toaster's not working…" Hidan-M trailed off as he took in what he saw.<br>He stared… And stared as his eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.  
>"We're going to a theme park today!" I told him, praying to god it would make him forget what he saw.<br>He pumped his fist in the air.  
>"Awesome! That's awesome!" He shouted, bounding off somewhere, closing the door with a thud.<br>I turned to Kakuzu-M in disbelief.  
>"I can't believe it was that easy to distract him…" I spoke, but realized he was looking at the scar on my stomach.<br>"I was nine when I got that." I told him.  
>"How'd you manage to get that one?" He asked, tracing it with his fingers.<br>"Well, to be honest… It was to save Hidan's life…" I smirked at the memory, but shook it off.  
>"I'll tell you about it some other time." I promised, pressing my lips against his before he could ask any more questions.<br>He lightly pressed me against the wall, as the kiss deepened.  
>I wrapped my arms around his neck- before we were interrupted… Again, by a faint knocking on the door.<br>"Who is it?" Kakuzu-M asked.  
>"I-It's um… Kisame…" called a soft voice from outside.<br>Kakuzu-M blinked.  
>"I didn't know she could talk…" He said in mild surprise.<br>I snorted at this.  
>"Do you want m-me to go ahead and make you breakfast?" She asked.<br>I decided I could handle this.  
>"That would be awesome. Thanks so much!" I called.<br>"It's no problem…" I heard her say, before her footsteps faded out.  
>I turned back to Kakuzu-M.<br>"If you want, we can fit a little something in, before we wash the sheets…Kuzu…" I whispered seductively, leaning back on the wall.  
>"You're evil." He told me, as I pulled him against me.<br>"So I've been told…" I smirked, as he closed the space between us.

"Where the heck have you been?" Sasori demanded, as I walked into the female bedroom.  
>"Convincing Kakuzu-M to let us go to the damn amusement park!" I snapped back, turning to Hidan.<br>"You. You OWE me." I told her. She shrugged.  
>"What's with the sex hair?" Konan asked me, with an evil smile.<br>I blinked, and brushed a hand through my hair. Wow. I didn't think you could actually GET sex hair.  
>"None of your business." I told her flatly.<br>"I bet it was really kinky." Sasori whispered to Konan.  
>I turned to her with a glare.<br>"Are you trying to imply, that I SLEPT with him?" I questioned.  
>"No we're implying you fucked his brains out." Hidan smiled sweetly at me.<br>I felt my cheeks go hot.  
>"So tell me. Can he use those threads for other things?" Sasori asked, as Konan giggled.<br>I was sure my face looked like a tomato by now.  
>"You guys are perverts… I didn't do anything with him!" I lied, as Hidan walked up to me, and undid my cloak.<br>"Rawr. Somebody loves her hickeys..." Konan sung, cheerfully.  
>"Those are bruises!" I snapped.<br>"No honey, those are love bites." Sasori said, with a chuckle.  
>I huffed, and walked out of the room, doing my coat back up.<br>"Those perverts. What do they care if I have a sex life?" I muttered.

I walked into the kitchen, the red fading off my cheeks.  
>Kisame was cooking breakfast for people whilst Itachi, Konan-F, Hidan-M, Itachi-M, Leader and Kakuzu-M were at the table, eating.<br>I took a plate off the bench and sat down at the table.  
>As soon as Hidan-M spotted me, he sat up in realization before chuckling to himself and eating some toast.<br>I stabbed my fork into some egg silently.  
>My guess is that the rest of the Akatsuki were still sound asleep.<br>"Bad hair day?" Konan-F asked, looking at me.  
>I said nothing, picking at the food on my plate.<br>Hidan-M was holding back laughter, and I gave his foot a good stomp.  
>He shut up, snickering slightly.<br>"You look really worn out…" Konan-F spoke again, giving me a sympathetic look.  
>"She DOES, doesn't she?" Hidan-M spoke with fake concern.<br>I shot him a warning glare.  
>"Hidan, shut. UP." Kakuzu-M gritted out.<br>"Don't tell me to shut up! All I wanted to know is why the toaster wasn't working, and I find you two in naked in bed together!" Hidan-M Shouted.  
>Konan-F dropped her fork, and Pein choked on his coffee.<br>"Kakuzu. I need to speak to you." I growled darkly, and Kakuzu-M shrugged and got up.

"This is more trouble than I thought it'd be…" I mumbled, pacing as Kakuzu-M sat calmly on his desk chair.  
>"You know, I don't think they'd make such a big deal out of it, if you didn't react so much." He told me.<br>Sasori opened the door,  
>"We're gonna head off to get some food. Take care of the base, love birds. Just remember, Kisame-M is asleep, so don't wake him! Also, Kakuzu… um… The male Kakuzu… Is she good in bed? Does she make you really hot? I mean, damn! She's got the biggest boobs I've seen in my LIFE!" She finished, a little too enthusiastically.<br>I raised an eyebrow.  
>And she giggled.<br>"Bye~"

"I'm going to take a shower now…" Kakuzu-M sighed, getting to his feet and walking out the door.  
>Part of me didn't want to be by myself in the room. It was like I had a momentary emotional attachment to him.<br>I sat down on the bed for a few minutes, almost miserably. This was a horrible morning, never in my life have I felt so embarrassed.  
>All I knew is that I had this awful feeling that needed to go.<br>Without even realizing it, I entered the bathroom, stripped down, and miserably joined the miser in the shower.  
>"Well, the solitude was good while it lasted." He sighed.<br>"Make it stop…" I mumbled, pressing myself against him.  
>"Make this feeling stop…" I pleaded, as my eyes poured tears without my permission.<br>"This hollowness… It's the only thing I've felt, my whole life, my parents never loved me. They were told to get married, and have a child born as the next heir! After that, I was taught to fight. I never once got a 'good morning' or 'I love you.' As a result, I physically tortured myself, thinking I wasn't good enough for them… _I got cut open,_ because I went looking for the trouble! I can't STAND THIS ANYMORE, I can't get rid of this horrible thing inside of me- I'm begging you, make it go away…" I sobbed, before taking some deep breaths in, and wiping my eyes…  
>He was silent, looking down at me without any apparent expression for a minute.<br>I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed him longingly.  
>When the kiss broke off, I stared at my hands, which where palms down on Kakuzu-M's chest.<br>The hot water ran down both of our bodies, and I wanted to kill myself at the thought of how stupid I was about to sound.  
>"There's a 78% chance that I'll fall in love with you."<br>My gaze stayed on my hands, as he tensed slightly.  
>"I understand if you don't want to waste time on-"<br>He pressed his lips to mine before I could even finish. Out of instinct, I deepened the gesture- allowing him to gently push me back against the shower wall.  
>I stared at him, as he pulled away to speak.<br>"In return… Allow me to seek solace in you as well…" He spoke.  
>I couldn't tell what was hotter… the sex, or the water temperature.<br>Either way, we obviously forgot about a certain shark-man's presence.

"What the hell is that sound…?" Kisame-M muttered to himself, getting out of his bed, and following the noises he heard.  
>They were coming from inside the bathroom, hearing the sound of running water… and… moaning?<br>Recognizing the voices, he nearly giggled.  
>Kisame-M grinned to himself as he practically skipped into the kitchen.<br>On the fridge was a note;  
><em>_<br>Kisame  
>I made you breakfast… It's in the fridge for you, so just pop it<br>in the microwave when you want it.  
>We've gone out to get food, and will be back at roughly 11:30 AM<br>-The… Other Kisame…  
>P.S; This is from Sasori-chan:<br>If Kuzu-chan starts screaming, she's probably testing a ride before we even get to the amusement park….. *Wink, wink*  
>Give that girl a score on her screaming factor. I reckon she'll get pretty loud…<br>Rawr.  
><em>_

As if on cue, Kakuzu got pre-tty loud.  
>Kisame-M smirked to himself.<br>"I'll give it a 7/10"

_  
><strong>I'm sorry XD I was going to write the theme park this chapter, but I just NEEDED to put something in before it.<br>I'm planning on making this fanfic pretty long .  
>REVIEW, OR I'LL SHOOT YOU.<strong>

**And *Snicker* The point of this chapter, is that… Kakuzu has a craving for physical contact, she needs the affection she never got as a child; In the sense that, the only solution she's found- is being in an intimate relationship with Kakuzu-M… I'm not good at mushy crap, so please don't kill me if It sucks.**  
><strong>Anyway, THEME PARK~~<strong>

**Next chapter:: Haunted house and a trip down lovers lane.**


	11. The Haunted house and lovers' lane

**Kakuzu-  
><strong>When I walked into the kitchen, I found Kisame-M eating his breakfast.  
>I silently made another coffee, watching his expression carefully.<br>"I got a bit of a wakeup call this morning." He commented.  
>I let a sly smile cross over my lips.<br>"Really? I didn't hear anything…" I spoke calmly, taking a sip of coffee.  
>"Must have been my imagination then…" He smirked.<br>I sat down across from him at the table, just as Deidara walked in tiredly.  
>"Morning…" She mumbled, going to sit down, and missing the chair by three meters.<br>"Agh… Fuck…" Deidara groaned, getting to her feet again.  
>"Are you alright?" Kisame-M asked.<br>"Just peachy." She retorted sarcastically, actually managing to sit down on a chair.  
>"I was kept up all night, by SOME people rocking the bed a little too hard in the room next to mine and Deidara's." I was assuming she meant Deidara-M, because they shared a room, like Konan-F and Kisame (Yes, the female)<br>I went scarlet.  
>"I'm so sorry!" I bowed, knowing how cranky she gets when she doesn't get enough sleep.<br>"So it was YOU, huh?" she smiled, walking over to me and wrapping her arms around my neck.  
>"Tell me all the dirty details!" She whispered excitedly in my ear.<br>I pushed her off me.  
>"I'm not telling you jack-shit." I growled.<br>"I bet you dominated him. Hands down... Was it kinky?" She giggled.  
>Perfect timing for Kakuzu-M to stroll in.<br>"The others will be back soon, you do realize…" He spoke, choosing to ignore Deidara's inappropriate words.  
>Kisame nodded.<br>"I'm all ready to head out, and I'm sure you two are squeaky clean after the long shower you took this morning." He grinned.  
>"And they can take another one after they finish fucking in the haunted house. LET'S GO ALREADY!" Hidan-M shouted, bouncing into the room.<br>As Kisame ran in and hurriedly put the groceries away.

**Konan-**

"Now. We're going to separate into pairs, and one group of three." Leader instructed as we stood in line for our entry tickets.  
>"Now, because I know some of you might go and soil the children of their innocence…. And money."<br>[Insert glares at Kakuzu and Kakuzu-M]  
>"We're going to draw names out of a hat. Starting with the youngest." He told us, holding up a straw hat with pieces of paper in them.<br>Deidara shrugged, and took a piece of paper out.  
>"I got me." She spoke.<br>Deidara-M pointed to himself unsurely.  
>"No. Not YOU, I meant, I drew 'F-Deidara!" She told him.<br>Leader took her name out of her hand and got her to draw again.  
>"Leader." She said, looking at him.<br>All blood left his face, and he pouted- looking between Konan-F and Deidara.  
>"But I wanted Konan!" He complained.<br>"Get over it." Konan-F muttered.  
>Sasori bounded over to the hat next, and picked up a name, then latched on to Kakuzu for dear life, as the brunette let horror shape her expression.<br>"We're going to be having some veerrryyy interesting conversations today…." She smirked.  
>Itachi silently took a piece of paper, and walked over to Tobi, who wrapped an arm around her slyly.<br>"My, my… You're quite the pretty one, aren't you?" He spoke, leaning his masked face closer to hers.  
>"Tobi will take you on roller coasters. Tobi is a good boy!" much to Itachi's annoyance, his hand was getting closer and closer to her chest.<br>"Tobi…" Kisame called sweetly.  
>"Move your hand down any further, and I'll castrate you!" She giggled innocently.<br>We all turned to Kisame in utter horror.  
>Oh my god. She just threatened to chop this guy's testicles off, in a voice that made her sound like a fucking FAIRY.<br>Tobi slowly removed his hand.  
>Hidan picked a name out of the hat, and linked herself onto Itachi-M.<br>"Hey, sexy…" She purred, as he said nothing, choosing to ignore her.  
>Deidara-M went next, groaning in disappointment.<br>"I got Kakuzu, un." He groaned, and Kakuzu-M shrugged.  
>It was me next, and I prayed to god I wouldn't get someone horrible.<br>I stared at the name blankly.  
><em>Sasori- MALE<em>.  
>I turned to him with my eyebrows raised in surprise.<br>He didn't say a thing.  
>Kisame picked a name out and smiled at Konan-F, who nodded, realizing Kisame just drew her name out.<br>The three people left were Zetsu, Hidan-M and Kisame-M  
>So after ten more minutes in line, we finally each got our all day passes.<br>I looked at the park map and let out an impressed whistle.  
>"It says if you get the stamp for every ride, you win a free Movie voucher and free accommodation for two at the hot springs…" I spoke.<br>Then I turned to him.  
>"Dude, free movie. Let's totally do it." I smirked.<br>Sasori-M sighed in defeat.  
>"Fine. Where are we headed to first?" He asked, reading the map over my shoulder.<br>I grinned.  
>"Let's start at the haunted house." I suggested.<br>He shrugged, and we made our way over to it.  
>I'm not gonna lie…<br>It looked pretty damn scary.  
>"Uhm… Ladies first." I spoke, gesturing him to go in.<br>The person at the entrance was dressed up as a goblin.  
>Sasori (I'm temporarily removing the M) glared at that remark, but gladly went in.<br>So, we started off in an elevator as the voice of an older woman told us we were 'sealing our fate.'  
>"Sounds like my Grandmother…" Sasori muttered to me, and I giggled.<br>We walked through the narrow corridors, and looked at a realistic body in a glass window with a massive shark bite taken out of its body, and we stood there staring for a minute or so.  
>"Kisame's brother probably did that." I snickered, as we fearlessly continued on.<br>Skeletons hung from other display windows, and Sasori and I added a few comments about them being painfully fake.  
>Soon, we opened the door to the next floor.<br>It was a mirror maze.  
>I fist pumped.<br>"Easy! Sasori, put your left hand on the left mirror wall." I spoke, doing the same.  
>"Don't let go of it." I told him, and he obeyed, as we easily found our way through.<br>Half way, I stopped, looking in horror at what was in front of me.  
>"Oh my god! These mirrors make my butt look fucking HUGE!" I shrieked, pointing.<br>"Yeah, well move your huge butt, so I can get through!" Sasori demanded.  
>I glowered at him, and he smirked- obviously getting me back for the 'Ladies first' joke I cracked earlier.<br>We next walked into a corridor with only candles on the walls lighting our path.  
>"Oh no. Look how scary the wax is." I deadpanned, walking right ahead.<br>A ghost created by lighting effects stood in front of us, and Sasori and I continued our conversation on how the wax was gonna 'kill us', as we walked through it without a second glance.  
>We took a flight of stairs to the next level, and sighed, as we realized we had to walk through a corridor full of 'play balls' (Ball pit balls) to continue.<br>"Oh. Wow, real scary." Sasori spoke in monotone, as we walked through emotionlessly.  
>Moving, bloodied, FAKE corpses were on the ground, and we stepped over them without a single care.<br>Finally, we were on the last floor.  
>"Oh, I wonder what they're gonna do this time. Killer chicken wings?" I gasped dramatically, holding a hand to my forehead.<br>We opened the door, and found an instructor, next to a boat that went down a river.  
>"Oh look. There are corpses in the water." Sasori spoke, as unenthusiastically as he could, as we got into the boat.<br>The boat flowed with the soft current, as we looked around at the eerie settings.  
>Corpses in the water, people hung from trees, spooky noises.<br>"This is your last ride." Spoke a deep voice from a speaker above us.  
>Suddenly, the current picked up, and the boat bounced off miniature waterfalls.<br>"Oh no. A small current. We're going to die Sasori." I spoke, with the same amount of enthusiasm as we had through the whole haunted house.  
>The boat stopped, and we got off, getting a stamp from a worker, Letting him know how bullshit the whole thing was before following the signs that said 'This way to next ride.'<br>We didn't even bother checking the ride name as we walked into the gates.  
>"You two are a little… Old for this, aren't you?" The worker at the front spoke.<br>"Who cares?" I asked, getting into the cart.  
>"Alright… If you insist…" He muttered, pushing us off.<br>The walls were bright pink.  
>"Ugh. Tacky paint job…" I muttered, and Sasori nodded in agreement.<br>Then, a cute cartoon bear appeared on a sign in front of us.  
>"I'm pinky bear. I'm your friend. Let's sing a song about friendship!" The speakers echoed, before proceeding to play a song about love, and happiness, and how much friendship matters.<br>Needless to say, as cute bears (Obviously robotic) started doing dance moves, and childish patterns and drawings of cute little farm animals appeared on the walls, Sasori and I screamed our heads off.  
>A bear reached out a little too close to the cart saying something along the lines of wanting a hug.<br>"AH! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" I shrieked, practically throwing myself into Sasori's lap, as it leaned closer.  
>Poor Sasori's face was mushed up against my small chest, as I squeezed the life outta him.<br>He was shaking, from head to toe, telling the music to stop playing.  
>So, after 5 minutes of complete, and utter TORTURE…<br>We got out of the carriage.  
>"What the fuck WAS that CRAP? I'm going to be forever mentally scarred!" Sasori shouted at the poor worker, standing at the end of the ride.<br>"Shut up and take your stamp." He muttered impatiently.  
>So, over with that horror, and we went through roller coasters without batting an eyelid, all sorts of different rides.<br>Until we reached the last one.  
>"Lovers' Lane…" I muttered, not even getting a chance to protest as the worker CHAINED Mine and Sasori's hands together.<br>"Alright love birds. Just keep your clothes on." The worker smiled, as she got us to sit in a 'romantic love boat.'  
>"Ah- No wait! I- We're not a couple!" I protested, and she grinned.<br>"This is the best part of my job." She giggled, as she sent us down the river.  
>"You know, the river of corpses was more romantic than this shit." I groaned, looking in disgust at the little love hearts painted all over the cave.<br>"I think I'm gonna be sick…" I mumbled.  
>"Gross. Don't puke on me." Sasori told me.<br>"I can't help it! It's so lovey dovey and it makes me feel icky inside…" I groaned, holding my stomach.  
>Sasori sighed.<br>"Put your head in my lap." He demanded, and I turned to him, as a deep blush formed over my face.  
>"WHAT?" I shrieked.<br>He blinked, then realized what he said, shaking his head in denial.  
>"NO! NO! Not like that, I meant, lie down and REST, or you're gonna throw up!" He said.<br>My face was still red, but I nodded, resting my head in his lap.  
>Immediately the nausea started to go away<br>"I'm gonna fall asleep…" I murmured, nuzzling against his Akatsuki cloak.  
>I closed my eyes, as Sasori ran his fingers through my hair.<br>"You should wear your hair out more often… It suits you better." Sasori thought out loud.  
>"If you want me to…" I smiled, as I drifted off slightly.<br>"Hey… Konan…"  
>He moved a strand of hair out of my face, and I looked up at him.<br>"Mmhmm?" I asked.  
>"I really want to kiss you..." He spoke in a whisper.<br>I shrugged.  
>"Do as you like. I just wanna sleep…" I mumbled, totally out of it.<br>Then… What'do ya know? He kissed me.  
>Too bad I was so tired I couldn't even remember it.<p>

**XD Okay, so that was weird.  
>I hope you liked!<br>New chapter soon! 3 3 3**

Review, or I'll stick you in pinky bear's rollercoaster of FRIENDSHIP.


	12. Tobiko The murder that was silenced

The boat went to a sudden halt, and I immediately jolted awake.  
>Accidentally head butting Sasori when I sat up, but still awake no less.<br>"Ugh! Fuck! Why were you leering over me like that? I asked, as the worker at the end, ushered us out of the boat, and handed us a key to the chain on our wrists.  
>"You fell asleep on my LAP! I can't help the fact that my head goes on my body!" The redhead snapped.<br>I blinked.  
>"Wait… what?" I asked, trying to recall what happened.<br>Okay, we got on the boat, I started feeling sick, Sasori got me to lay down to stop the nausea…  
>He made a comment on my hair… Something else happened after that…<br>Quickly, we got our last stamp, and headed towards the service desk.  
>Furiously, I tried to fit the key in the keyhole for our chain.<p>

_"I really want to kiss you…"  
>"Do as you like. I just wanna sleep."<em>

My mouth formed the perfect 'o' shape as I dropped the key.  
>"Oh… Oh… my god…" I breathed out, feeling the blood draining from my cheeks.<br>"What? What's wrong?" Sasori asked, stopping and looking at me.  
>"Why on Earth would you KISS me?" I shouted, as we got to the service desk- and handed the woman our poster full of stamps.<br>She smiled, and handed us our vouchers.  
>"Because I wanted to." Sasori stated plainly.<br>"B-because you WANTED to?" I shrieked  
>He nodded.<br>"Why did you want to?" I demanded.  
>"Because you looked vulnerable, and it was cute." He told me.<br>My cheeks flushed, and I went to say something, when Deidara-M and Kakuzu-M walked over to us.  
>"I paid good money for that lunch, and you just vomit it back UP?" They appeared to be in their own little argument.<br>"It's not MY fault, un! Maybe if you weren't so freaking determined to get the vouchers, you cheapskate, yeah!" Deidara-M yelled back.  
>"Don't remind me! You ruined the whole day for me. I could have got free things!" Kakuzu-M snapped.<br>"Well, at least you get to go home, and have _**free**_sex with your new girlfriend- don't you?" Deidara-M teased, as Kakuzu-M attempted to kill him.  
>I turned back to Sasori.<br>"Hey, where's the key?" I asked, yanking the chain.  
>"You must have dropped it." Sasori shrugged.<br>My eyes widened, and I fell off the park bench we were sitting on, in overwhelming sadness.  
>Unfortunately, we were chained together- so Sasori just fell on top of me.<br>"We really need to stop falling on each other." I spoke.  
>He nodded in agreement, getting up and yanking the chain so that I was brought to my feet as well.<br>"You guys got chained too?" Konan-F asked, holding up the chain connecting her and Kisame.  
>I sighed.<br>"Yeah, we lost our key though…" I muttered.  
>Konan-F smirked, unlocking her chain easily with HER key.<br>"Damn you." Sasori muttered.

"So, did everyone have fun today?" Konan-F asked as soon as everyone was back home at the base.  
>Everybody murmured different things under their breaths.<br>_Click  
><em>"FREEDOM! AT LAST!" I screamed, yanking my hand from the chain.  
>That was until I stepped on the paperclip I used to unlock the chain with.<br>"AGH! MOTHERFU- THAT HURTS LIKE A BITCH!" I cried, hopping around for a few seconds, holding onto my foot for dear life.  
>Suddenly the door was kicked down.<br>"Well, isn't this cute!"  
>And there, in front of us… was…<br>"Holy FUCK! We thought you were DEAD!" Hidan cried, pointing to the figure in the doorway.  
>"Yeah, well you did BURY me alive!" The woman snapped back.<br>Her cold Uchiha eyes, took a moment to scan over everyone.  
>"Kisame. Where is she?" The woman asked impatiently, placing her hands on her hips.<br>"Like we'd tell you!" Kakuzu snapped.  
>The woman smiled. Not a nice smile, but a bitter smile.<br>"You'd better tell me." She chuckled.  
>"How did you even get here?" Deidara asked, glaring daggers at her.<br>"Well, how do I put it… I finally managed to get back into the Country, and One by one, I try to find you. First… I questioned our cute little redhead's boyfriend. He couldn't tell me anything, so I killed him, and moved onto the next person. Itachi, your Aunt and Uncle were furious. Their precious niece didn't come home from school, and to top it off- she'd probably taken their daughter with them.  
>Poor Sasuke didn't have a chance against me, after they were slaughtered before her. So, I moved through to Hidan's house! 'I don't care where that slut is! I hope she's dying somewhere, cold and alone!' Those were your mother's exact words. So, moving along again, I met a sick grandmother, crying out for her grandchild! I'm sorry Sasori, but she stood less of a chance than your boyfriend.<br>So, I begun to lose hope. I stopped by a blonde household- but nobody was there, except a concerned younger brother.  
>Who got away in the nick of time…<br>The dojo was where I went next. It was empty, so I tried the estate the Dojo belonged to.  
>Whoops! It was funny, Kakuzu- really. They didn't even know who you were.<br>Soon, I just killed them all- stumbling across my last hope. I must say…My, My… Konan… That little Nagato friend of yours put up a very good fight. He knew where you were, but refused to tell me. Eventually I got tired and killed him.  
>So, after a long, long time… I found a text. A text written from you, telling him you made it to school on time for once." The woman smiled again.<br>My jaw opened slightly, and I placed a hand over my mouth.  
>"And that's when I found the amazing science experiment. Conducted by none other than the stupid blonde before me. Have you told anyone about your 187 I.Q yet?<br>Have you told them, that you foresaw this and entrusted a device to your younger brother so that he could protect certain people when the time is right?  
>The average human only uses 10% of their brain. However you're capable of using all of it. Aren't you, Deidara?" With one more scan she spotted the males.<br>"I had no business telling anyone that. So just butt the hell out, bitch!" She cried.  
>Sasori clenched her fists.<br>"You killed Sakura. You… killed… My grandmother…" She mumbled.  
>"You killed Konan's childhood friend, and now, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" She cried.<br>"AGAIN!"  
>Merely chuckling, she started disappearing, as if she was merely a hologram.<br>"Who the fuck WAS that?" Leader shouted.  
>"A person we… killed a long time ago…" I mumbled.<br>Kisame stood up from behind the table where she was hiding.  
>"Her name… Is Tobiko." She whispered.<p>

**_  
>DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!<br>Question of the year: Who's Deidara's younger brother.  
>(It's a genderbend, so in the Naruto world, it's a female.)<strong> 


	13. Pinky bear returns

_**11 years previous…**__**Hidan-**__  
>I backed up against the fence, trying to catch my breath and seeing that familiar person approach.<br>"I'm sorry… But this is… The boss's orders…" The man bowed in respect, before drawing a sword from his belt.  
>"Momma put you up to this?" I asked, shivering head to toe.<br>"I'm sorry again, kid." The man sighed, moving closer.  
>"Stop! Don't come any closer!" I ordered.<br>He looked at me with guilt in his eyes, and he swung at me.  
>I closed my eyes, hearing the clinking of metal before me.<br>I opened one eye slightly, to see a girl no older than me- holding off someone three times her age, with a tiny knife.  
>She found an opening, swinging her whole body around, and slamming both feet into the guy's face with all her might.<br>He groaned, getting to his feet- and swinging at her again.  
>she blinked, not expecting him to still be conscious.<br>With extreme force, he managed to use his sword to fling her weapon out of her grasp.  
>With that, he had an opening, and sliced at her stomach.<br>With a grimace, the girl collapsed to her knee's, holding her stomach as blood seeped through her clothes.  
>With a dazed yell, the man stumbled off- the kick from before still taking effect.<br>"Are you alright?" I cried, running over to her.  
>She said nothing, and got to her feet, heading after the man, as blood trailed behind her.<em>

_**-End flashback-  
><strong>_  
><strong>Konan-<strong>  
>Not one for explanations, Sasori and I boasted about our hot springs vouchers, before heading off, leaving the others to explain the whole Tobiko situation, and also leaving you readers with thousands of unanswered questions, which are yet to be revealed.<br>Now perhaps you readers are thinking…  
>'Oh, we're gonna get some Sasori and Konan romance!'<br>I laugh. I laugh at the dumb expressions planted on your faces, which I can't actually see, so I'm just assuming that they're dumb.  
>If this is what you thought… You couldn't be… More right.<br>Shamefully, this chapter is full of fan service.  
>Ugh… you'll see when I get there.<br>"How romantic." I deadpanned, walking through the rather large garden and heading to the service desk.  
>"Yo. We got a voucher for free accommodation." I spoke to the (Actually, VERY cute) man at the desk.<br>"Ah… I see. This also pays for free dinner at the downstairs restraunt, and a movie at the theatre we're next to." He spoke, looking over the vouchers.  
>"Ah. That's awesome." I spoke.<br>"You two look very cute together." He smiled, handing us our key and room number.  
>I smiled as politely as I could.<br>"We aren't a couple... I'm actually REALLY single." I told him, with a wink.  
>His eyebrows raised and he leaned over the desk.<br>"Really? What's your name gorgeous?" He asked.  
>"Konan. Yours?" I giggled flirtatiously.<br>Sasori grabbed my arm and dragged me off.  
>"Hey! Uh- See you around!" I called, trying to shrug out of Sasori's grip.<br>As soon as we got in the elevator, I turned to him viciously.  
>"You did that on purpose!" I snapped.<br>He said nothing, allowing a smug look to pass his face.  
>"I hate you…" I mumbled, crossing my arms with a pout.<br>We got to the floor we were on and entered the room.  
>"Damn. Only one bed…" Sasori cursed.<br>"Now we can CUDDLE!" I told him, holding my arms out for a hug.  
>He gave me a disgusted look, and sat down on the lounger.<br>"Deidara was driving me insane…" Sasori muttered, closing his eyes.  
>I pushed him off the lounger, and took his seat.<br>"This is a nice lounger." I spoke.  
>He got up with an irate growl.<br>I grinned.  
>"Why are you so angry? There's plenty of room here. Come on, CUDDLE!" I exclaimed, patting the space next to me.<br>"I wouldn't fit there anyway. With your huge butt and everything." Sasori smirked.  
>I glowered at him.<br>"Says the guy checking it out every ten seconds!" I bit back, smugly.  
>He gave me another disturbed look.<br>"You know you love it." I smirked. "Now, we have a movie to see." I smiled.  
>He sighed, and stood up.<br>"Alright, let's go…" Sasori mumbled.  
>I quickly ran into the bathroom and fixed up my hair.<br>"Trying to impress someone?" Sasori asked me.  
>"Well, duh. The guy down at the front desk is HOT." I told him, winking at my reflection.<br>Sasori rolled his eyes, leaning on the doorframe impatiently.  
>After a minute or so, I turned back to him.<br>"How do I look?" I asked, flicking my hair.  
>"Hideous. Let's go." He urged, as I stuck my tongue out at him childishly.<br>So, we walked down to the movie theatre, and picked out a horror movie to watch.  
>Stupidly, we handed our tickets to the worker before checking the theatre number.<br>"I think it was number 2…" I spoke, as we went in.  
>Waiting for a few advertisements to pass, we stared impatiently at the screen.<br>Then… A pink teddy bear popped up on screen.  
>I jumped, and grabbed Sasori's arm.<br>"Hi! I'm Pinky bear! Today, we're going to learn about BABIES." The bear giggled, and I started to shiver.  
>"This is horrible!" I cried, trying to get the sound out of my head, as the bears started singing and dancing.<br>By the end of the movie, Sasori and I were absolutely traumatized, clinging to each other like Koalas.  
>"Wh-why would they even SHOW something like that? And to CHILDREN no less!" Sasori exclaimed, as we stormed out of the theatre.<br>"Like I'D KNOW!" I snapped back in reply.  
>"Are you hungry?" He asked me suddenly.<br>The night sky was cloudy, and the wind was cold.  
>"No. Even if I did eat, I'd probably end up puking it back up." I shivered, walking into the park nearby, and sitting down on a swing.<br>"It's a nice night…" I spoke, as Sasori sat down on the other swing.  
>Just when I made this comment, rain poured down on our heads.<br>"Good call…" Sasori muttered sarcastically, and I slapped my hand to my forehead.  
>We both stood up at the same time, and me being the graceful person I am, tripped and slammed into his back, as we both toppled over.<br>"Ow…" I murmured, rolling off Sasori's back.  
>He lifted his head off the ground, spat some sand out of his mouth and glared at me.<br>I grinned childishly in return as the rain poured down heavier.  
>"I'm waiting out the rain." Sasori spoke, crawling into a small play tunnel on the playground.<br>I followed him quickly, and we both barely fit into the cylinder.  
>"This is cozy." I said smugly.<br>Sasori said nothing and stared out at the rain.  
>I could see drops of water falling off his hair, and chin, and with a grin, I poked him.<br>He said nothing, and poked me in return.  
>I frowned and poked him harder this time in the cheek.<br>Before I knew it, we were in a poking war. Childish, yes- but entertaining at the least.  
>It was more like wrestling, as we attempted to out poke each other.<br>Until, Sasori accidentally poked me in the chest.  
>All oxygen left earth as I paused and stared at the finger on my boob.<br>"Get your hands, OFF my breast please." I growled, as Sasori quickly removed his hand.  
>"That was an accident." He muttered.<br>"Yeah, I don't care if it was or not- just don't do it again. Pervert." I smirked.  
>"I am NOT a pervert!" Sasori denied.<br>"Oh sure, pervert." I snorted in disbelief.  
>"It was an ACCIDENT, and stop calling me that!" He snapped.<br>"Oh? If you're not a pervert- then why did you kiss me at the theme park, huh?" I questioned smugly.  
>He looked at his feet, and didn't answer.<br>One point: Konan.

The rain cleared up and we headed up to our room.  
>I just took a shower, and hopped into the bed, whilst Sasori sat on the lounger.<br>He looked so uncomfortable being in the same room as me. He probably thinks I'm mad at him for earlier.  
>"Hey, come sit over here. I wanna talk to you." I spoke, gesturing to the massive space on the double bed.<br>He hesitantly walked over and sat down.  
>Looking at me, he waited for me to say something.<br>I didn't know what to say… And I nearly hit myself at my stupidity.  
>Okay, so I just need to tell him I'm not mad at him.<br>That'll probably make him feel really awkward though.  
>Ah! Let me try this!<br>I grabbed his hand, and placed it over my breast.  
>He looked horrified, and he yanked his hand back.<br>Yeah, not your brightest Idea, Konan.  
>"What the hell was THAT for?" He shouted.<br>"I was just trying to show you that I'm not mad at you for touching my chest!" I explained.  
>"That was DEFINITELY the wrong way to do it." He told me, uncomfortably.<br>I sighed in defeat.  
>"Yeah, I just made things awkward didn't I?" I asked.<br>He nodded, not looking at me.  
>"I'm not mad at you for kissing me, either." I told him.<br>He didn't move.  
>"Hey! Aren't you supposed to do the cliché thing, and be all 'so can I do it again?'" I snapped.<br>Sasori chucked me a 'yeah right' glance.  
>"Who actually SAYS that?" He asked me.<br>A let a sly smirk pass my lips.  
>"The hot guy at the front desk probably would." I watched as he rolled his eyes, and got up.<br>"HEY! Where are you going?" I shouted, grabbing his arm.  
>"Over to the lounger! Why would I want to sit here and listen to you talk about that guy?" He snapped, trying to get my hand off his wrist.<br>"Stop being so awkward and just sleep in this bed!" I told him.  
>"No." He spoke, escaping my grasp and continuing his walk of fame to the lounger.<br>I growled and pounced on him, the both of us falling to the ground and much to his annoyance I had him pinned down in a millisecond.  
>"Look at me." I demanded.<br>He glared straight at me.  
>"Just sleep in the bed with me, and quit making me feel bad. If you don't, I'll do something you're really not gonna like." I threatened.<br>"Yeah? Try me." He scoffed.  
>Nobody had ever called my bluffs before.<br>I honestly had no idea what I was going to do.  
>So, I improvised, and placed his hands on my chest.<p>

**Review please!**


	14. Should've used protection no jutsu

_**11 years previous.  
>Kakuzu-<strong>_

_The man managed to get away, and I stumbled into my cubby house and pulled out a needle and thread._  
><em>Before I sterilized the needle, I wrapped a bandage tightly around my stomach to limit the bleeding.<em>  
><em>After sterilization, I attached the black thread to the needle, and dug it right through the skin at my wound.<em>  
><em>Slowly, bearing the pain I managed to sew my stomach back together.<em>  
><em>With some thread and a needle.<em>  
><em>I wouldn't let myself pass out until I was done, but finally, totally exhausted- I collapsed.<em>

_Waking up, almost a day later, Naturally, I was hungry._  
><em>Searching through my cubby house's cupboards, I found only solid and dry food.<em>  
><em>I figured it wasn't ideal with my stomach the way it was.<em>  
><em>So I took my spare money off the table, and headed out to a supermarket.<em>

_Now, I'd done a lot of stupid things, rushing to find people to fight._  
><em>It way my duty as the next heir to my clan.<em>  
><em>Occasionally, I would end up saving other people's lives because of it.<em>  
><em>Not one of them has actually bothered tracking me down afterwards.<em>  
><em>Well, anyway- I was a little surprised when a silver haired girl stepped in front of my trolley.<em>  
><em>"Hi! Do you remember me? You saved my life a few days ago!" She spoke a little too fast.<em>  
><em>I blinked, trying to recognize her.<em>  
><em>Ah. She was the girl that was gonna get silenced by that man that sliced my stomach open.<em>  
><em>"No, I don't remember you- sorry." I lied, trying to move forward, and hoping she'd get out of the way.<em>  
><em>"Uh… Okay… I'm assuming you went to the hospital for your stomach. I'm surprised they let you out so early." She commented, only following me down the aisle.<em>  
><em>"Yeah. They didn't like me." I told her, as she studied the items in my cart.<em>  
><em>"Only getting light foods, hm?" she guessed.<em>  
><em>I glared at her, but she remained oblivious.<em>  
><em>"Say, what's your name?"<em>  
><em>The questions kept coming.<em>  
><em>"Kakuzu. Now if you DON'T mind, I'd REALLY appreciate it if you'd leave me alone!" I snapped.<em>  
><em>"Kakuzu, huh? My name's Hidan. You have pretty eyes."<em>  
><em>It's like she didn't even process things she didn't want to hear.<em>  
><em>I pushed the trolley out to the checkout, and left as fast as I could.<em>  
><em>Throughout the week, she remained persistent. It was like the girl was stalking me, because wherever I went, she was THERE. To annoy the crap out of me.<em>  
><em>Eventually, I snapped.<em>  
><em>The Hidan girl looked as though she'd just been shot, as I finished my shouting about her not leaving me alone, and her being so annoying I just wanted to kill her.<em>  
><em>"Look! I'm only trying to be your friend. I OWE you my life!" She shouted in return.<em>  
><em>"PLEASE, for the thousandth time… just LEAVE ME ALONE! What the hell do you want from me, huh?" I screamed.<em>  
><em>Taking a deep breath, she gave me a serious look.<em>  
><em>"A want you to tutor me."<em>

_**End Flashback-_**_**  
><strong>

**Konan-**

He went abnormally red for someone who had no blood, and apparently couldn't speak.  
>"Come on, pervert." I smirked.<br>He growled.  
>"This is sexual harassment!" He shouted.<br>"This is coming from a SERIAL KILLER!" I almost choked on my laughter.  
>"Touché…" Sasori spoke.<br>"Hey, I just realized. Why do we always end up in this position?" I asked.  
>"Except I'm not usually being forced to grope you." He commented.<br>I was about to speak, when I heard faint music.  
>I got off him, and walked over to the porch.<br>There was a massive dance festival going on.  
>"Aii! Awesome!" I squealed, as Sasori walked over to see what I was squealing at.<br>"What? All they're doing is dancing." He spoke.  
>"PLEASEPLEASECANWEGO!" I pleaded, turning to the redhead with stars in my eyes.<br>"Why? I'm not going down there!" Sasori told me.  
>I sighed, and looked out at the crowd sadly.<br>"Konan…?" Sasori spoke.  
>"What?" I kept my eyes on the festival.<br>He turned the speakers on by the sounds of it.  
>I turned to him questioningly.<br>He sighed and held out his hand.  
>"That… is a hand." I stated, with a smirk.<br>He ignored the comment, and gestured me over.  
>"Ohh? Second thoughts about cuddling?" I asked, walking over to him.<br>Sasori took my hand, and twirled me around.  
>"Aweee! Are you trying to cheer me up?" I asked, my mood ascending.<br>He said nothing, but let a smirk pass his lips.  
>"It's alright. I'm exhausted anyway." I lied, pulling him into a hug.<br>He seemed unsure about the friendly gesture.  
>Obviously, Sasori wasn't that much of an 'embrace' person, so hugs are practically foreign to him.<br>I smiled, retreating from the gesture, and twirling a strand of his bright red hair around my finger.  
>"I always had a thing for redheads…" I smirked.<br>His face flushed, and I gave him a weird look.  
>"You're a puppet, right?" I asked.<br>He nodded.  
>"How are you blushing?"<br>He blinked, and felt his face with his hands.  
>"Be right back…" He spoke, stepping into the bathroom.<br>I waited for a moment, before I heard him scream.  
>I knocked on the door.<br>"What's wrong?" I asked.  
>He opened the door and pulled me onto his lips.<br>I blinked.  
>"What the hell?" I asked, then realized he had a look of panic over his face.<br>"I'm turning HUMAN again!" He shouted, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly.  
>"What?" I asked.<br>He looked like he was having a panic attack.  
>"CALM DOWN!" I shouted, slapping him across the face.<br>"Ouch! What was that for?" He asked.  
>"Holy fuck, you are turning human…" I mumbled, then grinned.<br>"How about that cuddle?" I suggested.  
>He glared at me, rubbing his cheek.<br>"Okay, sheesh! Cranky pants…" I murmured.  
>He started pacing around, and I rolled my eyes, hopping into the bed.<br>"Good night, pervert." I spoke.

**Kakuzu-**  
>Now, you may be wondering what the hell is up with the flashbacks.<br>Well, let me say- that Kisame's explanation of Tobiko is left off screen, and will be revealed a little more to you through the flashbacks.  
>Sorry, it's really not my fault that the author is a bitch, and wants to leave you guys in suspense.<p>

So, it was three and a half weeks since Sasori-M and Konan returned from the hot springs. Sasori refused to talk to anyone, and Konan wasn't talking to HIM, for some reason.  
>(Maybe she'll tell you why the next time the story is in her Point of view. The author will kill me if I told you.)<p>

Kakuzu-M and Hidan-M were off on a mission, and I had no idea when they would be returning.  
>Anyway, It was the early morning, and I was sparring with Konan-F.<br>It was only two minutes in to our tai-jutsu spar, when I started feeling tired, and a little bit sick.  
>"Kakuzu? Are you alright?" Konan asked, stopping and walking over to me.<br>I nodded.  
>"Yeah, let me rest a second." I huffed.<br>She sat down next to me, and I sipped some water.  
>"Hey, I'm going shopping later. Are you due? Do you need any… womanly supplies?" She asked.<br>I furrowed my brows.  
>"Well, I was due just over a week ago… So yes, but if it drags up any longer, I'll have to see the doctor…" I spoke.<br>Konan stared at me blankly for a second or two.  
>"Maybe you should take a pregnancy test…" She suggested.<p>

I nearly choked on my water.  
>"I'm not PREGNANT!" I laughed.<br>She said nothing and gave me an amused glance.  
>My laughter dyed down, and I stared at the grass miserably.<p>

-  
>"Fuck." I spoke, staring at the two tests in front of me.<br>Two lines was bad. BAD. NOT GOOD. HORRIBLE.  
>"KONAN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, I SWEAR I'LL MURDER YOU IF YOU DON'T!" I cried.<br>I was talking about Konan-F, by the way- I forgot the mention the young Konan was helping Kisame-M out on a mission, as well.  
>"In a second!" She called from the next room.<br>"NO. NOW!" I cried.  
>A few seconds later, she flung open the door.<br>"What?" She asked.  
>"Close the door." I instructed, and she did so, clicking the lock before walking over to me.<br>I held both of the tests up for her to see.  
>All of the air escaped her, and she rubbed her eyes, trying to believe what she saw.<br>"That…That means p-positive…" She stammered.  
>"Kakuzu… will KILL me." I squeaked.<br>Konan-F hugged me sympathetically.  
>"It was nice knowing you." She smiled, jumping out of her skin as someone banged their fist on the door.<br>"Hey! I've been holding it for an hour, I get home and the bathroom's already taken! Get the fuck out already, or I'll piss on your bed!" I winced, recognizing Hidan-M's voice.  
>"ALRIGHT! GIVE US A SECOND!" Konan-F snapped.<br>"Us?" Hidan-M questioned, as I hid the tests under my jacket and opened the door.  
>Konan-F and I walked out, and he gave us the 'you're both fucking crazy' look.<br>"You are NOT to tell a soul." I told her, and she nodded.  
>"What is she not telling a soul about?" I actually screamed when I heard Kakuzu-M's voice in front of us.<br>This is the only time, I'll admit… I was scared shitless.  
>Konan-F's jaw dropped.<br>"Oh man, your day just gets worse." She told me.  
>"Nothing. Absolutely, positively no-" I started, but was cut off when…<br>"Hey! Why didn't you hoes just tell me Kakuzu was taking a pregnancy test? I would have just pissed outside!" Hidan-M stormed through the corridors, waving the… instruction booklet at us.

Bastard.

**_  
>Next chapter coming soon!<br>Review, or Hidan will use your bed as a bathroom.  
><strong>


	15. Enter! The InoSasuNaruSaku combo!

_**11 years previous:  
>Kisame:<br>**__"Kisame-chan, are you sure?" Itachi whispered to me in that unsure tone of hers, latching onto my jacket.  
>"Grow up, you baby." I growled, shrugging her off.<br>"Look, no body has lived here in decades! It's totally abandoned. Plus, ghosts don't exist." I assured my cousin.  
>"B-but people have gone in here and never come out!" She argued.<br>"Look, you pansy. If you're that scared, we'll bring some people from school over tomorrow night.  
>I promise you, it's perfectly safe." I sighed, not happy about having to postpone my adventure.<br>God, why is Itachi so stupid? Ghosts don't exist. It's not like some boogey man is gonna pop out of thin air like in scary movies!  
>Right…?<br>__

**Sakura (Male)**

"That was close." I muttered, watching my house fall to ashes.  
>"Well, well. Once again, we've been left to clean up the mess those troublesome girls left behind." Naruko pouted, playing with her long blonde pig-tails.<br>"Ugh! They SWORE they took Tobiko down YEARS ago!" This time, it was the young Uchiha, Sasuko who spoke.  
>"Af far as we're concerned, Tobiko only knows about my escape. I'm positive she believes you three are dead." The last teen spoke.<br>"Yeah, well you weren't exactly subtle, Ino-kun!" I snapped at her.  
>"SORRY for not having a sucessful escape plan!" He growled back.<br>"Both of you, shut up. This isn't the time for arguments." Sasuko ordered.  
>Ino and I scowled and zipped our lips, as the four of us escaped into the forest.<br>"So, you're positive it'll work?" Naruko confirmed, glancing at Ino.  
>He shrugged.<br>"Who knows?" With a sigh, we reached our destination.  
>"I'm not as good as Deidara- Nii-chan, but I do think I can get this baby working." Ino smirked, placing the stone he was holding in the middle of the Tselepakien.<br>"Get ready, guys." She warned, as we stood in our assigned places.  
>From there we began.<br>"Hiki oronaja koku you niisa kuchi yah. Hiki oronaja koku you niisa ku-kuchiha yahi.  
>Misi kuro, yo ki chani moku ai. Foro hikinaku sakisoi amo uai." We had alot of practices at this, a whole two years learning the technique.<br>Every other minute of the day, the four of us were meditating, storing up spiritual energy, and studying the research Ino's sister had left behind.  
>"Oh mah lightosu, chaos ek teror benah hahio naikoju."<br>I kept my eyes closed, feeling a weird sensation in my stomach.  
>"Terichami hoko, niisa yahi sonaruyo koisha nai luko harua ni HOKA!" With the last word, I felt something similar to falling.<br>Before...  
>I landed in a small lake.<br>"Did it work?" I asked, opening my eyes when I reached the surface.  
>Naruko was frantically attempting to stay afloat.<br>"Why the fuck couldn't we land on a moutain of pillows or something?" She screamed, splashing around until she got to some land, then hauling herself out of the freezing water.  
>I followed her actions.<br>"Where's Sasuko, and Ino-kun?" I questioned looking around.  
>"HELP!" screamed a voice I recognised.<br>Naruko and I both whirled around to see Sasuko clinging to a treebranch a few meters off the ground.  
>I felt my eye twitch.<br>"Just climb down, you big dummy!" Naruko laughed.  
>Sasuko looked at the ground and blushed.<br>"I-I hah, I was just kidding." she chuckled nervously.

**Kakuzu-**  
>I grimaced.<br>"…And?" Konan and I turned to Kakuzu-M when he spoke.  
>"What did it come out as?" He asked seriously.<br>I handed the test to him reluctantly.  
>He stared for a moment.<br>"I see…" He mumbled.  
>Hidan-M raced over to him.<br>"What is it?" He asked, sneaking a look at the test.  
>"OH HOHOHOH! CONGRATULATIONS!" He shouted, holding his stomach in hysterics.<br>"For the love of Jashin, name it Kakuzu just to confuse the fuck out of people!" He was practically rolling on the floor laughing.  
>I glowered at him.<br>"Oh, cheer the fuck up! You're pregnant!" He smirked, getting to his feet.  
>"I have to get it confirmed by a doctor first, and besides! What's so good about being pregnant?" I screamed at him.<br>"Because! I can teach the tyke the ways of Jashin!" He spoke as if it were a fantasy.  
>"Who says I'm going to keep it?" I growled.<br>"I did." Kakuzu spoke.  
>My face went red, and I looked at him in disbelief.<br>"I can't believe you want me to have your child!" I spoke.  
>"Abortions cost money." He said simply.<br>"Keeping it will cost money!" I snapped.  
>"I'm not letting you kill our child!" Kakuzu-M spoke firmly.<br>"Why? You kill other people's children every day! How is this any different?" I questioned.  
>"BECAUSE this is OUR child! WHY the hell would you want to get rid of it?" He shouted back, oblivious to all of the attention we were attracting.<br>I stood there, my face red with absolutely nothing to say.  
>"I don't… I was just… I didn't think you'd want to keep it…" I muttered.<br>"Holy fuck. You're pregnant." Sasori breathed as a smirk crossed her face.  
>"Get lost." Konan-F bit at everyone, who scowled and slowly walked away.<br>She turned to us.  
>"I'll leave you two to talk…" She spoke, walking away.<p>

"Are you sure you want to keep it? I mean… You don't seem like a kid person." I told him.  
>"I hate kids." He said seriously.<br>I felt my eye twitch.  
>"Um… then why…?"<br>"Because, this isn't about me." He spoke, and hesitantly placed his hand on my stomach.  
>I smirked and kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck.<br>"Hey. Lovebirds. Isn't it my decision whether or not you keep the child?" Spoke a voice from behind us.  
>I immediately detached myself from Kakuzu-M.<br>"No. It isn't, Leader-sama." Kakuzu-M spoke flatly.  
>"Well anyway, Kakuzu… Err the female… You realize you can't participate in the chuunin exams then." Leader told me.<br>"The…Chuunin exams? Don't you need to be a Genin to participate in that?" I asked.  
>"I don't suppose anyone has told you that I am the leader of Amegakure." Leader said, almost smugly.<br>"Um… No I haven't been told that." I said slowly.  
>"Well, I guess this works out anyway. There are seven of you girls, and there are three people to a squad. So I suppose it works out better this way." After saying this, he rushed over to my side.<br>"How do you plan on covering the costs of having a child?" He asked me.  
>I think Kakuzu-M was nearly crying at the thought of how expensive it would be.<br>"Threaten people into buying things for us." I answered simply.

**This chapter was a nightmare to write, even though it's short.  
>I love you all!<br>Review, Or I'll shoot you... Without a gun.**


	16. Joshie & Hillary

11 Years Previous-  
>Itachi.<p>

_"We're all ready. Did you guys bring everything?" Kisame asked, looking through the six of us before her.  
>Kakuzu was the oldest of us, being 9, Next was Konan and Kisame, who were 8, after that, was me, and Hidan who were both 7, followed by Sasori and Deidara, the youngest, being 6.<br>"I still don't get why you dragged us here to this scary house." Hidan spoke, cowering behind Kakuzu, who frankly didn't display any apparent emotion.  
>"It's an adventure! The thrill will be great!" Kisame exclaimed waving her arms around.<br>"Hey! Sorry we're late!"  
>"White-tsu here was being so SLOW." The darker skinned of the 'Tsu twins' growled at her pale-skinned identical.<br>"Not THAT slow! Why are you always so mean to me black-tsu?" White-tsu yelped in response.  
>These two wack-jobs were both 7, like Hidan and I.<br>Continuing our nervous trembling, and endless bickering we didn't notice a certain woman watching from behind the sealed up windows.  
>"So, these kids think they can just walk in here whenever the hell they want? I'll have to teach them a thing or two."<em>

Hillary was just your average teenager.  
>Straight black hair, deep brown eyes, and had an obsession with... You guessed it... Yaoi.<br>"Hillary! It's late, get to bed right now!" Her mother barked from the livingroom.  
>Hillary had just finished writing the final chapter of her LightL fanfiction, and only just noticed the time.  
>"ALRIGHT! I'm going to bed now!" She screeched back, switching off her computer and keeping refuge in her bed until she was sure her whole family was asleep.<br>So, at about 1 AM, she crept out of her bed, and out to her backyard.  
>In the old shed that nobody uses anymore, there was a button, in the very corner behind a cobweb.<br>She slowly pressed her finger against it, and the floor under her feet opened to reveal a stone staircase.  
>Slowly, she made her way down them, down, down, down...<br>Until finally she reached a door, which she used her fist to knock four times on.  
>It opened to reveal a woman with curly blonde hair, and a stern face.<br>"You're already late for the meeting." She scoulded.  
>The two made their way into a large concrete room, with a large table surrounded by twenty or more people.<br>"Ah, Hillary... You're the last one to arrive. Good, good. Sit down, we have breaking news from dimension 26-55." Another woman spoke, this one clearly the eldest.  
>"The fangirls have retreated from dimension 25-25, and are now plotting in the darkness. They have aquirred more followers, and I believe they are attemping to take over Dimension 99-91, which is- unclaimed turf- excluding the incident with Zabuza and Haku, which one of our followers were responsible for... And also, the Naruto and Sasuke slip up kiss from quite a while back. Because of the recent harmony between The Yaoi and The Yuri fanbase, The Yuri leader has been more than happy to share this new turf with us. The only problem, is that the fangirls may be plotting something outright dangerous. As a resolve, Me and one of you lovely people, and Yuri with one of her followers, will speak to the main antagonists for future issues from dimension 99-91.<br>A criminal orginisation better known as the Akatsuki."  
>The room burst into excited whispering.<br>"I am aware, that many of you follow the Anime based off dimension 99-91, also known as Naruto/ Naruto Shippuden. It has recently come to my attention that the Akatsuki is where many of your favorite yaoi pairings originate from. The Yuri fanbase, has also informed us that they had their own working as spies in that dimension.  
>Two of which, Mikoto Uchiha, and Kushina Uzumaki were killed of their own accord."<br>"Mikoto Uchiha, and Kushina Uzumaki? They were killed? I thought they were the Yuri-bases top agents!" A brunette girl spoke.  
>"And what about our agents? We had that Hinata girl, didn't we?" Another questioned.<br>"Uchiha and Uzumaki were defeated out of love for their families. This is a Yuri fan's one weakness, very different from our weakness of loosing too much blood from nosebleeds, and The common fangirl's weakness of fire." The elder informed them seriously.  
>"Now, we need to carefully plot our next move."<p>

_

**Kakuzu-  
><strong>  
>"GET THAT THING <em>AWAY <em>FROM ME!" I shouted, trying to shake off the nurse.  
>"Calm down love, it really doesn't hurt!" She smiled.<br>"I don't give a flying fudgemonkey about the pain, lady! Just... Stop waving that needle around!" I shrieked.  
>"Oh, so you're fine with getting your stomach cut open, and having to sew it back together... But a tiny bloodtest is too much for you?" Kakuzu-M mocked.<br>"SHUDDUP!" I barked.  
>"Fine, how about I just stab your hand and let it bleed into this container?" Kakuzu-M suggested.<br>"I would prefer that!" I nodded.  
>So that was that. Kakuzu-M pulled out a kunai and stabbed me through the hand, poured out some blood, then bandaged it back up.<br>The nurse looked as though she'd just entered a nuthouse.  
>"Um... Okay, come back in two days, and I'll have your results." The woman tried to smile, and Kakuzu-M and I walked out.<br>"Excuse me, are you two members of the... Akatsuki?" Asked an elderly woman, with a teenage girl with straight black hair, another Elderly woman and a teenage boy with blonde hair.  
>"She isn't. I am..." Kakuzu-M said slowly.<br>"Oh! Dears, please show us to your leader. We need to speak with him, it's rather important."  
>Kakuzu-M and I exchanged looks.<br>"Alright..."

So, we entered the base with these people (Doesn't matter if they have our location, we can always just kill them.)  
>Leader came through the corridor.<br>"How'd the bloodtest go- Uhm... Who are they?" He asked, looking at our guests questioningly.  
>"Mind inviting us into a bigger space, love?" The other elderly woman smiled.<br>Leader slowly showed them into the meeting room.  
>"Hillary, Joshie... Please leave the room. We have to discuss certain things." The first woman spoke, ushering the two teenagers out of the room.<br>Leader glared at Kakuzu-M and I, and we did the same. (We left the room)  
>"Oh my YAOI- I mean, GOD! Joshie! Can you freaking believe it? Do you have any idea how many Akatsuki fanfictions I've written? KYA! I'm gonna explode!" The girl shrieked, bounding up and down.<br>The boy pouted.  
>"I like Sakura and Ino, So I have no business with Akatsuki, unless it's centred around Konan-chan." He responed.<br>"Hey! Are these sacrifices for me? Kakuzu, how thoughtful of you!" Hidan-M laughed running into the room.  
>"KYAAA! OH MY GOD, I CAN ALREADY FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION! HOW HOT WOULD IT BE TO SEE A REAL LIVE KAKUHIDA MOMENT?" Hillary cried, as if her head was about to explode.<br>"Hillary, knock it off. You know what'll happen if you nosebleed!" Joshie snapped.  
>"Sexual tension?" Hidan (Female) Asked, walking in.<br>"Who are you?" Joshie asked her.  
>"I'm... Hidan." She grinned.<br>"Wait... Hidan... But isn't that Hidan?" Hillary blinked.  
>"We're both Hidan. I'm his female equivilent. That's Kakuzu's equivilent." She explained.<br>Joshie's cheeks went red.  
>"Awe! FEMALE KakuHida! I'm loving this!" He giggled, latching on the Hillary as they both fanned over us.<br>"Kaku...Hida?" I asked slowly.  
>"It's a pairing! Kakuzu and Hidan. My second favorite Yaoi pairing. The first is most definately SasoDei... Third place is KisaIta..." Hillary drooled.<br>Hidan and I burst into laughter.  
>"Oh my JASHIN! They'd make a pretty sexy pairing, no?" Hidan cried, clutching her stomach.<br>"Th-This is too much! Oh fuck yes! I'll Ship it any day!" I added.  
>Hidan-M was pink, in fury and embarrassment.<br>"I'm not gay you fuckers!" He shouted.  
>"Oh, SURE, PURPLE EYES." Hidan snickered.<br>"They're not PURPLE. They're VIOLET." Hidan-M snapped, causing us to laugh more.  
>In rage, Hidan pulled his scythe off his back, and sliced through the both of the teens.<br>There was a moment where we kind of just looked at their dismembered bodies.  
>"Hey, Joshie. I don't think Hidan likes us that much." Spoke the head of Hillary.<br>"What the..." I mumbled, as Joshie rolled his eyes.  
>"Okay, how the fuck are you still alive?" Hidan-M asked.<br>"That's a dumb question. You can't kill members of a fanbase... Well at least not that easily." Joshie snorted, as his torso re-connected with the rest of his body automatically.

**LONG, LONG WAIT! I'm so, so sorry, you wonderful readers! (Except for the ones who don't review. They're just stupid.)  
>My mother took my computer, because I was being prissy about not cleaning my room. So I had to live with my School laptop (which blocks almost every site, and doesn't let me upload) for a few weeks.<br>GOMENASAI!**

**(Also, my wonderful friend, Courtney threatened to kill me if I didn't update .)**

**Next chapter::**

**Rabid fangirls and Konan's jealousy.**


	17. Finally, it's Itachi

**Chapter 17**

**Okay! It's a comment response chapter. (I'll have one every few chapters)**

**Rose Of Doom: Thank you! Have I mentioned, you're a very lovely reviewer to have hanging around my fanfiction? I got your comment on Deviantart on my picture of Itachi-Chan, and I'll respond when I can! Also, I started reading up on your fanfiction- (I totally love your writing!)  
>I'll give you guys a bit of a run down after the comment responses! I plan this stuff out, I really do!<br>Thanks for the review!**

**Hidan'sKittyKat: Sorry, but I can't exactly edit out a huge part of the plot DX I swear to Jashin, Warg, Plant King Zetsu and temporarily Kisame… That Hillary and Joshie won't be around for much longer. And the Yuri and Yaoi fanbase will be out of the way- because you wanted it so.  
>If you're worried- I know what I'm doing. But I'm not re-writing that chapter, even if it is a fucked up pile of horseshit.<br>Thank you for reviewing!**

**Alright. The rundown.  
>Now, anyone who isn't keen on hints can skip the bold writing XD<strong>

**Alright, let's break this down.  
>There are six main ARC's in this fic.<br>Chapters:  
>1-15 -The Intro<br>16-21 - Fangirls.  
>22-30 - Exams<br>31-51 –Naruto Shippuden plot.  
>52- 57 -Defeating Tobiko<br>58- 60 -Conclusion**

**Itachi-**  
>Well, this is new. Yes, strangely enough, someone other than Konan or Kakuzu is narrating.<br>Ah, they're probably the only ones bothered enough to do it anyway.  
>Like- imagine if Hidan was narrating… 'And then he fucking fucked shit with his fork and fucking ate his breakfast motherfucker!'<br>Or perhaps Kisame… 'Well…Umm … I think he's… oh sorry… I keep trailing off… Well I uh…'  
>I do not believe Tobiko killed my sister. Sasuko wouldn't go down that easily, trust me.<br>I'm getting side-tracked.  
>I owe all of you an explanation for my sudden change in personality.<br>Itachi-M told me his story, with barely any expression painted across his face. By the very end of it… I found myself in tears.  
>I love my baby sister with all my heart and I couldn't possibly imagine how much pain this man had gone through…<br>That was when it started.

**About a year ago-**

I developed the utmost respect for Itachi-M, and I wanted to try my hardest to change myself.  
>Soon enough, the respect flowed into admiration, and then- by the first year spent training with him… I started blushing at his compliments on my fighting skills, and coincidentally I spent more time in front of the mirror getting ready in the mornings. My knees were weak, and my throat was parched whenever I saw him, my stomach did backflips and all that jazz. Unfortunately, nobody had told me that it was my hormones singing 'YOU'RE CRUSHING ON HIM SOOO BAD~' loudly in my ears.<br>So, naturally, I thought I was sick- and one fine day I nervously tugged on Itachi-M's Akatsuki mantle as we walked through a field of dried grass.  
>"Itachi-Sensei… I think I'm sick…" It was a meek remark, and I watched as he blinked and turned to me with a soft expression before lifting the back of this hand to my forehead.<br>I think I went bright red, and my eyes widened as the thumping of my own heartbeat filled my ears.  
>"You're burning up. There's a town close by- we can get a room there…" The monotone was like warm syrup cascading down a tower of pancakes, and the only response I could give was a mindless nod.<br>Itachi-M nodded back, and started walking again.  
>When we reached the next town, we found a small inn and got a room.<br>I immediately sat down on one of the beds when we got into the room, and fiddled with the material of my dress anxiously.  
>Itachi took a chair and sat in front of me.<br>"Symptoms?" He questioned smoothly, his eyes studying me with unseen concern.  
>"Well… my palms have been sweating a lot… my face feels really flushed, I can't think… I can't think straight, and my knees are feeling weak- I've been getting dizzy as well… " I trailed off, and nervously bit my finger.<br>"Is it consistent, or is it coming and going?" He blinked unemotionally.  
>I tried to recall.<br>"It happens frequently… Actually… I think it's only when I'm around you…" I trailed off, watching his eyebrows raise in slight shock and realisation.

"What?! Is it that bad?" Panic rose in my voice, and I frowned.  
>Itachi-M shook his head.<br>"No, it's not bad. Forgive me if I'm wrong… but I don't suppose you have a crush on me?" He regained most of his cool, and I felt realisation hit me, like a 20 ton hammer.  
>My mouth opened slightly in surprise, and my face heated up again.<br>"I… I'm not sure… Do I?" I stammered.  
>His lips tilted up in a slight smile.<br>"Ponder on that thought for a bit."  
><strong><em>END FLASHBACK!<em>****  
><strong>  
>"And we left it at that." I finished with a sigh, as Sasori's jaw dropped in disbelief.<br>She had somehow managed to interrogate me. That girl is one determined cookie.  
>"You're kidding! No romantic realization where he swoops you up into his arms and has an incredibly hot make-out session with you?"<br>I shook my head, trying not to look disgusted.  
>"Oh well, I just thought that might be it. The love bug's spreading like AIDS and it's driving me insane!" The redhead shouted, banging her fists against the bed harshly.<br>"Huh? I thought it was just Kakuzu and Kakuzu-M." Confusion held my tone, and I watched as Sasori grinned.  
>"The bug's bitten Konan on the butt as well." She said slyly.<br>I blinked.  
>"Konan? But… With who?" I questioned.<br>"Just THINK about it. Who seems to be Konan's best friend right now?" She quizzed me.  
>"You?" I shrugged, not really catching on.<br>"Exactly!" Pointing dramatically at me, Sasori grinned wildly.  
>"You think Konan is in love with… You?" I confirmed slowly.<br>She slapped her palm against her forehead.  
>"Yes. Konan is in love with me." She rolled her eyes sarcastically.<br>"Oh… Well then, who does she like?" I asked sheepishly.  
>"SASORI-M! OBVIOUSLY!" Sasori cried, waving her hands above her head, before dropping back down into her chair.<br>"But- She's not speaking to Sasori-M right now!" I pointed out.  
>"EXACTLY! He obviously did something completely jack-assed, and said something completely oblivious to her feelings! I bet if we ask her if she likes him, she'd say yes-"<br>At that moment, Konan burst through the door, and pounced on Sasori, knocking the red head off her chair.  
>I stared at the ground to see a very intentional one-sided lip-lock between the two.<br>My jaw fell off its hinges in complete awe.  
>Konan pulled away, and SCREAMED.<p>

"Oh my GOD! I'm so sorry!" She shrieked peeling herself off Sasori, who shrugged casually.  
>"It's alright. It IS very hard to resist me."<br>A teenage boy stood in the doorway, with hearts coming out of his eyes.  
>"AWEMYGAWD IT'S SO CUTEEEE!" He squeed, clasping his hands together and giggling like a schoolgirl.<br>An elderly lady knocked him upside the head.  
>"Joshie. Don't drag your heels. We're leaving." She spoke fiercely, grabbing him by the wrist and storming out, followed by another elderly woman, and a teenage girl."<br>"DON'T COME BACK YOU OLD CREEPS! YAOI AND YURI IS THE LAST THING I'LL STAND FOR!" Pein shouted at them.  
>I peered out into the hallway, and saw a very pissed looking Deidara storm out of the kitchen.<br>"You have a thing against gays, Leader?" She spat, cracking her knuckles.  
>I'm sure Konan mentioned Deidara's little crush on Sasori in chapter one?<br>Deidara isn't lesbian, per say. She's more of a bisexual if anything.  
>The only girl she's every liked is most definitely Sasori.<br>"No, I don't have a thing against gays. They just made an offer I had to refuse." Leader defended, shoving past the blonde with a huff.  
>I turned back to Konan and Sasori.<br>"Yeah, and then that creep used some weird technique on me, and next thing I know- I'm tongue-tied with you!" Konan finished her explanation.  
>Sasori nodded in understanding.<br>"It's alright. Nice lip gloss though… watermelon flavour?" The redhead asked, and Konan dived into a story about how cool her watermelon flavoured lip gloss was.  
>I sighed and left the room, letting my feet walk me into Itachi's room.<br>He wasn't in there, and I felt obliged to sit on the spinny chair, and wait until he came in to do whatever.  
>I heard two very familiar voices approaching the room, and I quickly took refuge in the cupboard as they entered.<br>Don't ask me why, I just didn't feel like explaining why I was even in Itachi-M's room.  
>In snuck two Deidara's, each with identical grins.<br>"He won't know what hit him, un!" Deidara-M giggled childishly, bounding up and down before he placed a small clay sculpture under Itachi-M's mattress.  
>The blondes high-fived, before running out of the room, and presumably calling Itachi-M himself in.<br>Itachi-M looked relatively bored, as he sat on the mattress and waited for something to happen.  
>I burst out of the cupboard, and pushed him off the mattress a split second before it blew up.<br>Something tells me he would have dodged the blast anyway.  
>He blinked in mild surprise, not at the explosion, but at me.<br>"Why were you hiding in the cupboard?" Itachi-M spoke in his placid tone, despite the fact he was pinned under me. (Not that I was pinning him down, it's just the way we fell.)

I felt my face flush, as I realised I was sitting on his chest.  
>"I…. I was j-just…" I couldn't finish, my mouth hung open as I let out shaky breath as my trembling fingers let themselves entwine with the material of his cloak.<br>Itachi-M sighed, and moved to sit up.  
>"NO!" I yelped, almost violently pushing him back against the floor.<br>His face became serious.  
>"I advise you get off me." Itachi-M said darkly.<br>"I'm sorry! It's just… I need you to listen to me properly." Words spewed out of my mouth, as I regained some of my confidence.  
>"I'd listen to you either way- please-" unfortunately, he didn't get to finish because I finally made a move and kissed him.<br>Actions speak louder than words, right?  
>Suddenly, I felt on top of the damn world.<br>I rolled off my male self with a wicked grin painted across my face and stood up.  
>"Well, I probably just fucked up your life even more- right?"<br>Itachi-M sat up with a sigh.  
>"I'm sorry… I just don't think I can manage a relationship…" He bowed apologetically.<br>"You know… I don't think it'd hurt you to at least try."  
>I took his hand, and pulled him to his feet with a smile before wrapping my arms around him in a hug.<br>I suppose he really didn't know what to make of it… But after a few seconds, he returned the gesture.  
>"It's not me I'm worried about hurting."<p>

_  
><strong>And- SCENE.<strong>

**Now, some ****_BIG_**** NEWS!**

**I. AM. WRITING. A. SEQUEL. TO. BREAKING THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT!  
>YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!<strong>

**Review, or Pein will Almighty push your ass off a cliff.**

**:D**

**LOVVEEEHEEAAARRRTTTTSSSS 3**


	18. Spending time with Sasuke

**Just so you people know.  
>There's a bit of Yuri SasuNaru shipping in this. Don't be personally offended by it.<strong>

**_******

**Sasuko  
><strong>Have you ever woken up in a foreign universe dressed in a middle-school uniform, and had to walk around in a town where 'WTF' looks where given to you from every person, because the limitation to their fashion sense is brown shorts and a grey t-shirt?  
>What am I kidding?! Of COURSE you have.<br>Note the sarcasm and turn it into a 200 word essay, please. Homework is due next lesson.

Ino and Sakura looked around the streets boredly, and Naruko had attached her hand to mine cheerfully.  
>"So, where do you think they are?" Sakura asked Ino, placing his hands on his hips, and stopping in the middle of the dirt road.<br>Ino looked about ready to give up on his orders and retire somewhere far off in another country.  
>Naruko and I stopped as well, the blonde resting her head on my shoulder carelessly.<br>"We should get something to eat." She suggested, turning her head up towards me. "Ne, Sasuko? Don't you agree?"  
>Ino frowned and glared.<br>"I think we're better off getting some suitable clothing first. After that we'll talk about lunch." He decided, turning to the side to enter a clothing store- Sakura hot on his trail.  
>Naruko pouted, but offered no resistance as we walked into it.<br>"Alright everyone, Go nuts. I would recommend wearing something easy to fight in." Ino sighed, walking off to find some clothes.  
>I smirked as Naruko finally detached herself from me to find her outfit of choice.<br>Sakura walked over to me with a tiny blush on his cheeks.  
>"D-do you want me to help you pick out an outfit, Sasuko-Chan?" He asked, fidgeting nervously.<br>I snorted, and hit him playfully in the arm.  
>"You can't seriously MEAN that Sakura. You have a girlfriend, in case you've forgotten."<br>His gaze dropped to the floor, and he frowned.  
>"Sasori-Chan is… I don't want to talk about… her at the moment…" He mumbled, turning and leaving me to my peace.<br>Now I could do what I secretly love.  
>Yes, that's right folks.<br>Me, THE Sasuko Uchiha, is secretly obsessed with clothes and fashion.  
>I turned around and immediately found a long-sleeved white V-neck that I wanted.<br>Next to that, dark blue mini-shorts. A little further down the aisle, a deep-purple over-skirt that tied up with purple rope.  
>My face lit up with joy.<br>This was so awesome!

I smirked at my reflection, adjusting the black arm-warmers I had on under my shirt, and kicking my thigh-heighted sandals till they felt comfortable.  
>The last thing I needed to do, would be to complete my outfit, by tying my long raven hair into a ponytail.<br>"Wo-o-oww~!" Naruko sung, jumping into my change room and wrapping her arms playfully around my waist.  
>"That V-neck is very low, Sasuko…." She purred, slipping her hand under it and copping a very sneaky feel to the breast.<br>"But mine are still bigger~" She whispered into my ear, before kissing my neck softly.  
>I flinched in embarrassment, escaping her greedy hands with a red face.<br>"M-MINE WILL GET BIGGER! THEY'RE STILL GROWING!" I stammered, crossing my arms over my chest timidly.  
>Naruko, flicked a blonde pigtail over her shoulder, and walked toward me with an innocent smile.<br>She was wearing an open orange and black jacket, with a black shirt underneath. She also wore an orange skirt, black ankle-length sandals, and a necklace that she won in a bet with the chief medical officer.  
>The Uzumaki pushed me against the stall's mirror, and kissed my jaw softly.<br>"Ohh~ Sasuko… Maybe I should take you right here and now…" She giggled, twirling a loose strand of my hair around her finger. "After all, you may look absolutely irresistible in those clothes…. I'd prefer you completely naked to be honest…" I bit my lip, as she snaked her hand to unbutton my shorts and pull them down my thighs slightly.  
>This is when Ino and Sakura butt in impatiently.<br>"Naruko stop sexually harassing Sasuko, and Sasuko- pull your shorts back up. No one wants to see your underwear."  
>I went red in the face, and pulled my shorts up hastily.<br>Naruko was scowling.  
>Ino was wearing a deep violet Chinese-style top, with black pants, sandals, and elbow warmers.<br>Sakura wore a deep red top with short pale yellow sleeves, plain dark-green pants, gloves, and clip on pouches around his waist.  
>"Is everyone ready? Cause I want to purchase some weapons." Ino yawned.<p>

The weapon I picked out, was a thin silver sword, that I fastened onto my back.  
>Sakura bought a heap of medical things, poison, and a lot of 'kunai-knives, and senbon.'<br>Naruko and Ino seemed to go with whatever. Paper bombs? Cool! Shuriken? Cool! Weird spikey and dangerous-looking thingy on a chain? COOL!

"So, we'll stop in at this Korean Barbeque here for lunch." Sakura smiled, as we turned into the restaurant.  
>A lady ran over to us, as we entered.<br>"Ah! So sorry, dear customers! We're full- but I think some people are going to leave in a few minutes… so if you'd like to wait just a moment-"  
>Naruko grinned widely and cut her off.<br>"Trust me, old lady, we'll be fine. We're actually just here to join some friends." She laughed, running over to a table where a grey-haired man with glasses, and a boy around our age with raven, spiked up hair.  
>We quickly ran over to join her, and sit down.<br>"What the-" The grey-haired man exclaimed, as Ino and made him shove over for us to sit, while Naruko and Sakura did the same thing to the poor boy.  
>"Hey~ Wow! He smells so nice…" Naruko sighed, wrapping her arm around the boy's and cuddling up to him like a pillow.<br>I glared, as a tiny fire of jealously burned in the pit of my stomach.  
>"Tch. Get off me." The boy hissed.<br>The grey haired man smiled, and leant over the table.  
>"As always Sasuke, you're popular with the ladies."<br>Everything went silent, and Naruko let go of the boy awkwardly.  
>"Do you mind, Old man? My girlfriend is sitting at the table, and she happens to get jealous easily!" Naruko frowned irately.<br>"Girlfriend?" Sasuke questioned.  
>"O-old man?" The grey haired guy stammered.<br>Ino and Sakura burst out laughing, at my red face.  
>"Wh-when did we decide I was your GIRLFRIEND?!" I choked.<br>Naruko blinked.  
>"Oh? I thought you would have worked that much out by now… Or do I need to sleep with you again?" She laughed, as if it was the funniest thing in the world.<br>I helped myself to the grey haired guy's plate of Pork jowls, my face burning.  
>"You can't just take those!" He gaped.<br>"Hold the thought, Sasuke. Your last name doesn't happen to be Uchiha, does it?" Sakura asked seriously, turning towards him.  
>I choked on my food.<br>Sasuke's eyes narrowed suspiciously at her.  
>"Why?" He demanded lowly.<br>Naruko gaped, leant over, and licked his neck.  
>He flinched in slight disgust at her actions.<br>"Oh no… That is definitely an Uchiha. No doubt about it." Naruko said, turning to me.  
>I was keeping my cool.<br>Of course I knew what this meant.  
>How damn coincidental.<br>I smiled, and leant my hand over the hot grill for Sasuke to shake.  
>"Greetings. My name is Uchiha Sasuko, and I am your female self."<br>He said nothing, staring blankly at my hand.  
>"You might want to shake that." I suggested.<br>He narrowed his eyes directly at me.  
>"I said;" I stared again, making myself clearer, " You might want"<br>I activated my sharingan, "To shake my hand, Sasuke Uchiha."

Yes folks. Doujutsu; Eye techniques, ARE used in our dimension.  
>I use my sharingan frequently, unlike my sister, Itachi- who only activates it when she feels someone she loves is about to get pulverised.<br>But when that does happen, her eye techniques are ridiculously powerful…  
>More on that some other chapter.<p>

Sasuke shook his head in disbelief.  
>"You're an Uchiha? My female self…?" He questioned.<br>I realised something then.  
>"That makes you… The male Kabuto Yakushi, correct?" I asked the grey-haired man.<br>He pressed up his glasses, and gave me a serious glance.  
>"Well this is certainly interesting… Sasuko, was it?" He asked, before pointing to Naruko, and then Sakura.<br>"If I'm not mistaken, then. This is Naruto's gender bent equal, and that little girlfriend of his, Sakura's equal."  
>Sasuke, gaped and turned to Naruko and Sakura.<br>"You two are…"  
>"But something's puzzling me. Who's the blonde? If he's the same as the other three, he'd be female in this world. Sasuke, any clue?" Kabuto asked.<br>Sasuke stared at Ino for a minute.  
>"Yamanaka Ino. Sakura's stupid little rival." He figured out, folding his arms.<br>Sakura and Naruko snickered.  
>I frowned.<br>"Wait… Does that mean that Sasuke, and the male Naruko are fuck-buddies, too?" Ino asked slowly.  
>I hit my head on the table.<br>"We AREN'T fuck-buddies! That only happened once- uh… four times, and they were all complete accidents that were ALL Naruko's doing!" I whined.  
>Sasuke was a little disturbed obviously, and Naruko didn't HELP when she said;<br>"MY DOING?! Are you kidding me? You scream louder than a porn-star!"  
>I was about to retort something very vile- when out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone very familiar across the room.<br>Ino leapt over me immediately, and ran toward her with tears in his eyes.  
>"SIS!"<br>Deidara was tackled to the ground with a satisfying thud, as she was strangled with kisses and hugs.  
>"This is your brother, Uhn?" A blonde guy, I suspect of being Deidara's male equivalent spoke.<br>I got out from my seat, as did Sakura, and we turned toward Kabuto and Sasuke again.  
>"That's our cue to go. Nice meeting you, male me." I smiled, starting to walk.<p>

Naruko smiled cheekily, and kissed Sasuke's cheek.  
>"Hmm…. If I wasn't in a relationship, I'd molest you…" She giggled creepily, before bouncing off to join her friends.<br>Kabuto couldn't help but give Sasuke an amused look.  
>"I think we need to get back, so I can report this to Orochimaru-Sama."<p>

**Aw, BLEAH, haters!**  
><strong>A little bit of Yuri SasuNaru isn't going to kill you. <strong>  
><strong>Besides, at least you FINALLY got a chapter .<strong>

**Gomenasai for the VERY long wait.**

**I hope this will do you.**


	19. Attacked before lunch!

Chapter 19:  
>Deidara and… Ino?<p>

**Deidara:  
><strong>  
>There was an uncomfortable silence between Deidara-M and I. Neither of us had spoken since we'd left the Akatsuki base to run an errand for Leader-Sama. That was about… two days ago, if you're wondering. We walked around a small village, taking a look at the scenery. Finally, Deidara-M said something.<br>"I don't remember ever seeing this village before… This place is so boring, hm." He murmured, brushing his fingers through his blonde hair with an aggravated sigh. I smirked at him.  
>"And I suppose you think it would look more artistic if it were in flames?" I guessed. He glanced at me briefly, before grinning.<br>"Actually, this time I just think it could use a tiny bit of colour, is all."  
>I nearly fell over.<br>"No!" I gasped in disbelief.  
>"Is that REALLY you? You mean, you're seriously telling me, that for once you don't want to blow shit up?!" I asked him, watching as he shrugged.<br>"The idea of my art is that it's _beautiful_ for an instant, uhn. This place is NOT beautiful."  
>"Oh." The dreaded silence fell on us again as we continued walking through the village until we paused in front of a Korean Barbeque restaurant. We exchanged looks.<br>"Are you hungry, uhn?" Deidara-M questioned.  
>"Did you even need to ask?" Rolling my eyes, I skipped inside, inhaling the scent of beautifully grilled meat. Deidara walked in as well, looking around.<br>"It's pretty full, today." I commented. Deidara was about to respond, when I was tackled to the ground by none other than my wonderful little brother. Ino. I groaned, as he covered me in kisses, and hugged me to the point of it being suffocating.  
>"This is your brother, uhn?" I heard Deidara speak, next to us. I pushed Ino off me and stood back up, rubbing my butt in pain.<br>"Ngghhn." I grunted in response, as some other people I recognised as my brother's friends came over to join us.  
>"I can't believe we finally found someone useful!" Sakura exclaimed, chucking me a massive grin. I frowned at him. Great. Fucking Sakura's here.<br>"Deidara!" Naruko exclaimed, pushing past Deidara-M to hug me. I smiled softly, and wrapped my arms around her waist.  
>"How ya doing, kid?" I smiled, as we swayed awkwardly on the spot in the hug.<br>"AMAZING. I just met a massive hottie! An Uchiha, too~"  
>I giggled, as she pulled away and stuck out her tongue before leaning over and whispering;<br>"I wanted to score some sexy-time with him, but Sasuko was there, and you know how jealous she gets." Sasuko heard this and frowned, turning her head away with a grunt.  
>"Wait, uhn. Did you just say Uchiha?" Deidara-M asked her, his expression completely serious. Naruko raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down. Realising he wouldn't get an answer immediately, Deidara pushed past the teens to confront a black-haired boy and a man with grey hair and glasses sitting at the end of the room.<br>"You must be Sasuke." I could barely hear him point out. We all stared at the three curiously, wondering what would happen. The rest of the conversation was practically impossible to hear over the people in the room chattering. Deidara-M pointed furiously and shouted something at Sasuke, who frowned and made a grab for his sword beside him.  
>Before Deidara could even move, Sasuke had his sword imbedded into… The head of A young woman who had been standing behind Deidara . The room became suspiciously quiet.<br>I was just confused. I didn't even notice her there, until Sasuke made his move.  
>At that moment, Deidara-M turned and yelled something at me. My eyes widened, and I felt someone grab me from behind. I screamed and slammed one of my legs back at the culprit, successfully kicking her in the stomach, she let go of me, and I ran over to Deidara, Sasuke, and the grey haired guy along with Ino, Sakura, Sasuko and Naruko.<br>We all stood in fighting positions, staring at everyone before us. It was like the entire village had gone on attack. They all grinned mischievously, about ready to do evil things to us.  
>What the hell was going on?<p>

"I noticed something was off with this village from the start…" Deidara-M spoke, diving his hands into his clay pouches, and preparing for a fight. Sasuke remained placid.  
>"Kabuto and I were just bringing that up when you came over." He spoke, holding up his sword.<br>"Buy me some time. I'll get them all out at once with my art, hmm!" Deidara-M demanded, waiting for his mouth-hands to mould the detonating clay.  
>Sasuko blinked at him, and smirked, pulling her own sword off her back.<br>"You got it." She nodded.  
>Sakura clenched his fists next to me, a deadly serious look on his face. Ino pulled out a kunai, and Naruko just looked plain confused.<br>We all leapt forward, fighting our way through the door, and into the streets. I narrowly ducked to avoid a brunette woman's roundhouse kick, and I countered by using my chakra scalpel technique to slice her completely in half. Immediately, I was targeted again, from just behind her, a male this time, who I kicked in the stomach as hard as I could, causing him to fly back into another person across the room. I glanced around quickly, to see how everyone was coping. Kabuto was slashing and stabbing through multiple attackers with just a kunai alone, and a little further from him, Sasuke had at least fifteen injured bodies lying around him. He hadn't killed anyone yet.  
>Sakura and Naruko were fighting as one unit, back-to-back. Each putting their martial arts training to good use. Ino and Sasuko fought in front of Deidara-M, preventing any of the attack from coming near him.<br>"Watch yourself!" Kabuto snapped at me. I blinked, noticing the senbon flying toward me a little too late. I yelped in pain and stumbled back, unable to move to defend myself from an on-coming attack. I shut my eyes in defeat, and waited for the blow.  
>"KATSU!" Deidara-M shouted, all of the villagers around the shop, falling to the ground. I groaned, and my legs shook beneath me, my vision slightly blurred. The senbon had got me right in both of my shoulders, and my right arm. The chance that they were dipped in poison was extremely high.<br>Fortunately, Sasuke walked over and threw me over his shoulder.  
>"The entirearea is swarming with these guys." Kabuto noted.<br>"Let's find somewhere to hide out for a bit."

_  
><strong>Sorry for the long wait! I hope this makes up for it!<br>3**  
><strong>Review, or I'll throw some senbon at you.<strong>


	20. The Forgotten Scythe

**__****Hey, guys! I have some news!  
>The Fangirl ARC is taking a lot longer than anticipated. Soooooooo….. Looks like this fanfiction might go for more than 60 chapters, possibly around 80. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Hm. <strong>

* * *

><p><strong><em><em>**

**_Kisame-_**_  
>I walked up the front steps calmly, the wooden floorboards creaking the moment I shifted my weight onto the porch. Kakuzu was right behind me, waiting for me to open the door impatiently. I turned to make sure everyone was still there.<br>Me, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, the Tsu twins, and-  
>"Itachi, what are you doing back there?!" I gaped at my cousin, who was standing her place on the front lawn.<br>"I… I'm not going." She huffed, folding her arms across her chest.  
>"What the hell are you talking about? You're going in with us, and that's that." I growled.<br>Itachi merely shook her head.  
>"No. I'm staying right here." She gave me a look of all seriousness, and I growled darkly.<br>"Fine. I didn't need you in the first goddamn place, midget!" I stomped my foot down violently, before turning and opening the door.  
>I entered the house, the other six hot on my tail.<br>We all stood in the centre of the dark room, not really knowing what to do next, when- the door shut and locked itself.  
>"Have you young ladies ever heard of the Meredith-curse?" spoke a dark, feminine voice from next to me. We all jumped, and backed off.<br>"Who…?"  
>"I am the ghost that haunts this house, awaiting trespassers."<br>"What's a trespasser?" Deidara asked slowly.  
>"Someone who passes on territory that's not theirs." The voice informed her.<br>"Terr- Terray-toriee?" Deidara attempted to pronounce.  
>"LAND!" The woman snapped, before I felt her brush past me. Next thing I knew, both of the Tsu twins were screaming. There was a slam, and a bang.<br>"Wh-What are you doing?!" Kakuzu demanded. The woman laughed.  
>"Just making sure you get the curse."<br>"To them! What are you doing to THEM?!" Kakuzu corrected, her voice shrill.  
>"Just fixing a broken egg." She spoke.<br>"You're gonna EAT them?!" Deidara gasped.  
>"Jeez, how old are you kids? I mean, I'm going to turn them back into one person, you dunces!"<em>

_**White-Tsu:**___

_"You monster!"  
>"They're mine now. You can't do anything about it."<br>I could hear voices…  
>"I'LL KILL YOU!"<br>What… happened?  
>"Tsu?" Whispered a voice… almost inside of my head.<br>"I'm scared…" I responded slowly, my voice weary.  
>"Yeah. I can feel you shaking."<br>I shifted my vision towards my right. Black-Tsu was unusually close to me.  
>"Sis? What…?" I whispered, watching as Black-Tsu raised her hand and pointed towards our reflection in a mirror. I felt my throat parch…. Right before I screamed.<br>__  
><strong><br>Hidan-  
><strong>  
>"You remind me of Sempai in a way!"<br>"Shut up Tobi."  
>"He's prettier than you though."<br>I twitched.  
>"Shut up, Tobi."<br>"And even he has a bigger chest than you."  
>I whirled around and went to kick his masked head, but he just moved to the side before I could connect.<br>"LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE."  
>"And your temper is far worse."<br>"AGHHHHHHHH!" I turned on my heel and stormed forward. He followed cheerfully.  
>"I swear to god, Tobi, you are SO annoying!"<br>"This coming from whom, now?"  
>I tried my best to ignore him, and kept walking.<br>"Hmmm… When are we having lunch?"  
>"When you shut your goddamn hole!"<br>"But then I won't be able to see! Besides, masks don't work like that!"  
>I paused and glared at him. Smug bastard acting like a smartass. Out of all the people, how'd I get stuck running an errand with Tobi?! I mean, it was pretty damn plain to see that he was Tobiko's male equal. Which means that he's probably insanely powerful, unlike myself. I'm gonna keep my eye on that little creep. He's a disaster waiting to happen.<br>"A dango shop!" Tobi called, pointing towards a tiny shop in the distance.  
>"Yeah, that means we're close to the medical centre." I said slowly.<br>"I'm hungry… Can't we just stop in for a little bite?!" I could tell he was pouting behind that mask.  
>"No way."<br>"PLEEEEEAAASSSEEE?!"  
>"I'm goddamn serious! Quit bugging me!" I snapped at him.<br>"But… Deidara-Sempai always-"  
>"Go away." I snapped, walking faster, to try and shake him off. After a good five minutes or so, I heard him shout behind me.<br>"We're under attack!" He sounded ridiculously gleeful. I blinked, and turned to where he was pointing. A group of about 20 armed shinobi were bolting toward us. I smirked.  
>"Fine, you creeps! Bring it!" I encouraged, making a dramatic reach toward my scythe. When I couldn't feel it there, I went pale. I'd forgotten it.<br>"Uhh…" I started, "Tobi, we're going to run away now."  
>"I told you, you should have taken it, Hidan-chan~" I could just PICTURE the triumphant grin on his face. It pissed me off. It pissed me off so much, I needed to punch some hoes.<br>"Shut the hell up!" I snapped, dodging as one of them swung a blade at me. I scowled at Tobi who had just used Kamui, so the attacks simply passed through him. That so wasn't fair.  
>I swung my leg around to nail one of them in the side of the head. Afterwards, I flung back my arm, elbowing a young blonde woman in the face. Tobi wasn't attacking at all. I grunted, trying to dance through the attacks.<br>"You slacker, Tobi! Move your ass and do something!" Do you know how hard it is to tell someone off while you're fighting like- 12 people at once? HARD. I swear, If I had my scythe, all of these bitches would be in pieces right now. INCLUDING TOBI. After a minute or so, of intense fighting, all of them were on the ground, writhing and groaning in the dirt. The masked dunce was NO help, so I ended up taking on all 20 by myself.  
>"I wonder. Why are they still alive?" Tobi spoke, tapping at one of the enemies with his foot. I blinked, watching the people murmur senseless things.<br>"Maybe you're too weak." He suggested, turning his head toward me. I scowled.  
>"It's like you pride yourself on being annoying." I muttered. Tobi flinched.<br>"Did you say something?" He asked.  
>I shook my head and turned.<br>"Come on. Let's get going."

So, we continued our amazing journey to the medical centre… We really didn't know how bad this situation would become.

_

**Sasuko: **  
>Deidara was barely conscious, her eyes rolling back slightly. Sasuke had just placed her down in the clearing, against a tree. We were in the middle of a forest of some sort, Naruko could barely walk on her own, completely worn out and beaten up. Ino was panicking over Deidara, Deidara-M was talking to Sakura, who was nodding in agreement at whatever the hell he was saying. Kabuto stared at me for a moment, before moving to pull the senbon out of Deidara.<br>"Is she gonna be okay?" Ino asked him, worry passing over his features. Kabuto chuckled and examined the wounds, wiping away blood with Deidara's shirt.  
>"I'm going to ask you some questions. Either nod or shake your head." He told Deidara.<br>"It's snake venom." She slurred. Kabuto blinked.  
>"Are you sure?"<br>"Mmhm…"  
>He sighed, and got to his feet, emptying Ino's backpack, and throwing it to me.<br>"You're coming with me back into the village to get some things." He decided, giving me a smirk.  
>I screwed up my face, and made some strange version of a pout. Kabuto rolled his eyes, and adjusted his glasses. With a groan of defeat, I flung the empty backpack over my shoulders and started moving.<br>_Why the hell does this guy even care if Deidara lives or dies?_

**:D  
>Review or I'll… Uh….<br>Damn. I've got nothing.**


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